Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsDefinitionSigns and SymptomsTriggersRelationshipsTreatment
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
Definition
Signs and Symptoms
Triggers
Relationships
Treatment
BPD splitting is a symptom of borderline personality disorder (BPD). Splitting means a person is unable to hold opposing thoughts and concludes that someone or something is either entirely good or entirely bad without grey areas.
While BPD splitting can destroy relationships, it doesn’t have to. By recognizing thetriggers of BPD, you can help yourself or someone else who has BPD manage symptoms like splitting. Treatment for BPD can involve psychotherapy and/or medications.
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Splitting is a symptom ofborderline personality disorder (BPD). BPD is a distinct and disruptive disorder that severely affects a person’s ability to regulate their emotions.
With BPD splitting, there is no middle ground. A person will view the nature of people and situations as either black-or-white or all-or-nothing.
An example is declaring a romantic interest “my future partner” but after the romantic interest is rebuffed, declaring “I wasn’t interested anyway.”
With BPD splitting, the turnaround is about more than just saving face—it’s an unconscious or unintentional reframing of how a person views a situation that turns uncomfortable or uncertain.
Splitting is an extreme behavior, interfering not only with relationships but with a person’s sense of well-being.
Although people will sometimes casually claim that a person has a “borderline personality,” BPD is more than just a personality trait. BPD is a mental health condition that is diagnosed based on specific criteria outlined in the“Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” (DSM-5).
DefinitionSplitting is a defense mechanism in which a person goes between extremes of:Idealization(in which a person attributes exaggeratedly positive qualities to someone or something)Devaluation(in which a person attributes exaggeratedly negative qualities to someone or something)
Splitting is a defense mechanism in which a person goes between extremes of:Idealization(in which a person attributes exaggeratedly positive qualities to someone or something)Devaluation(in which a person attributes exaggeratedly negative qualities to someone or something)
Splitting is a defense mechanism in which a person goes between extremes of:
Splitting is a normal behavior in younger children who are not yet able to grasp how complex relationships or situations are. Instead children may simply categorize things as being either “bad” or “good.” Splitting is adefense mechanismthat helps children cope better.
Splitting can also occur in people living withnarcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
For example, someoneliving with BPDmight say that they “finally came to their senses” or “finally found out the truth about” a person, rather than considering whether the change in their perception of this person might have been unreasonable.
In the second situation, a person with BPD may idealize a person only to devalue them and never go back. This inflexibility may serve as proof that the decision was “right” or even righteous.
Other signs of BPD splitting include:
The trigger could be something that seems harmless or “innocent” but is enough to spur emotions that a person with BPD is not able to handle.
The triggers for splitting with BPD are more or less the same as those for children or people with NPD. Splitting is a defense mechanism used to counter emotions a person with BPD cannot control.
Splitting is a way of avoiding, deflecting, or sidestepping the feelings that are a big part of living with BPD, including:
Any event or action that triggers these emotions—whether it’s perceived or real—can trigger splitting in someone living with BPD.
BPD triggers can be different for everyone. Common triggers include:
BPD Splitting and Relationships
Splitting can cause distress in relationships for people with BPD and their loved ones in a few ways:
How Long Do BPD Relationships Last?
How long relationships last is different for every person living with BPD.
Some people have relationships that just last a few weeks or months, while other people living with BPD have relationships that last years or even decades, though, the relationship may have cycled through periods of breaking up and getting back together.
Two extremes drive this cycle. People with BPD can be increasingly hypersensitive to rejection in close relationships. At the same time, they also have a need for intimacy in the relationship.
A 2022 study noted that splitting and other symptoms of BPD can have devastating effects on a relationship. Constant splitting can result in the person with BPD increasingly obsessing over the partner’s commitment to the relationship. Desperate attempts to keep a partner in one’s life can eventually drive the partner away.
Communication strategies for BPDcan help keep relationships healthy. These include listening with empathy, validating feelings, and exploring interests.
There is no specific treatment for BPD splitting. Splitting is addressed as part of atreatment plan for BPDthat involvespsychotherapyand sometimes medication. In severe cases, inpatient treatment for care under apsychiatristis needed.
Types of psychotherapy that can help people with BPD splitting include:
Some people with BPD takemedications for BPDto help them manage the condition, such as antidepressants, antipsychotics, anxiolytics (anti-anxiety drugs), and mood stabilizers.
How to Help Someone With BPD Splitting
If you know someone with BPD, encourage them to seek help from a therapist for their lack of control over feelings and emotions.
If a person with BPD has thoughts of suicide, dial9-8-8and put them in touch with a counselor at theNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline. If they pose a genuine risk of harm to you or others, call 9-1-1.
Summary
Splitting is a symptom of BPD. It occurs when a person sees everything as black or white, good or bad, or best or worst. Splitting is a defense mechanism people living with BPD use to deal with emotions (such as the fear of abandonment) that they cannot handle.
Instead of working with the complexities of relationships and situations, a person with BPD splitting either sees them as all good (idealizes) or all bad (devalues).
Helping people with splitting is part of a BPD treatment plan that usually involves psychotherapy and sometimes medications.
Splitting can feel overwhelming both for the person with BPD and those who love that person. With time and the appropriate treatment, people with BPD can reduce the severity of their symptoms and lessen the negative impact splitting has on their relationships and lives.
5 SourcesVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Institute of Mental Health.Borderline personality disorder.The Wellness Society.How to deal with splitting behavior.Miskewicz K, Fleeson W, Arnold EM, Law MK, Mneimne M, Furr RM.A contingency-oriented approach to understanding borderline personality disorder: situational triggers and symptoms.J Pers Disord. 2015;29(4):486-502. doi:10.1521/pedi.2015.29.4.486Priory Group.Splitting in EUPD: causes, effects and support.Jeong H, Jin MJ, Hyun MH.Understanding a mutually destructive relationship between individuals with borderline personality disorder and their favorite person.Psychiatry Investig. 2022;19(12):1069-1077. doi:10.30773/pi.2022.0079
5 Sources
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Institute of Mental Health.Borderline personality disorder.The Wellness Society.How to deal with splitting behavior.Miskewicz K, Fleeson W, Arnold EM, Law MK, Mneimne M, Furr RM.A contingency-oriented approach to understanding borderline personality disorder: situational triggers and symptoms.J Pers Disord. 2015;29(4):486-502. doi:10.1521/pedi.2015.29.4.486Priory Group.Splitting in EUPD: causes, effects and support.Jeong H, Jin MJ, Hyun MH.Understanding a mutually destructive relationship between individuals with borderline personality disorder and their favorite person.Psychiatry Investig. 2022;19(12):1069-1077. doi:10.30773/pi.2022.0079
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
National Institute of Mental Health.Borderline personality disorder.The Wellness Society.How to deal with splitting behavior.Miskewicz K, Fleeson W, Arnold EM, Law MK, Mneimne M, Furr RM.A contingency-oriented approach to understanding borderline personality disorder: situational triggers and symptoms.J Pers Disord. 2015;29(4):486-502. doi:10.1521/pedi.2015.29.4.486Priory Group.Splitting in EUPD: causes, effects and support.Jeong H, Jin MJ, Hyun MH.Understanding a mutually destructive relationship between individuals with borderline personality disorder and their favorite person.Psychiatry Investig. 2022;19(12):1069-1077. doi:10.30773/pi.2022.0079
National Institute of Mental Health.Borderline personality disorder.
The Wellness Society.How to deal with splitting behavior.
Miskewicz K, Fleeson W, Arnold EM, Law MK, Mneimne M, Furr RM.A contingency-oriented approach to understanding borderline personality disorder: situational triggers and symptoms.J Pers Disord. 2015;29(4):486-502. doi:10.1521/pedi.2015.29.4.486
Priory Group.Splitting in EUPD: causes, effects and support.
Jeong H, Jin MJ, Hyun MH.Understanding a mutually destructive relationship between individuals with borderline personality disorder and their favorite person.Psychiatry Investig. 2022;19(12):1069-1077. doi:10.30773/pi.2022.0079
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