Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsGeneral StrategiesAddressing AssumptionsDeciding What to SayManaging ReactionsFear of RejectionUnsolicited AdviceNext in Healthy Conversations GuideCommon Issues When Discussing Psoriasis
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
General Strategies
Addressing Assumptions
Deciding What to Say
Managing Reactions
Fear of Rejection
Unsolicited Advice
Next in Healthy Conversations Guide
When friends and family know howpsoriasisaffects you, they are better able to offer you support. It is up to you to open up about your disease and help loved ones understand what you’re going through.
Psoriasisflare-upsare not always obvious to others. A loved one may not know if you are experiencing a flare-up of symptoms, especially if plaques are in areas covered with clothing. They may not know if you take medications that alter the function of yourimmune system, or how psoriasis affects your immune system.
2:076 Myths About Psoriasis
2:07
6 Myths About Psoriasis
Here are five common issues that affect communication when talking about psoriasis and what you can say to limit the extent of these barriers.
Verywell / Cindy Chung
People with psoriasis overwhelmingly feel that their condition affects their quality of life. Around 88% say the condition impacts their emotional well-being, and around 82% say it impacts their overall enjoyment of life. Family and spouses are also affected; 98% say they have felt emotional distress related to a loved one with psoriasis, and around 54% say they have had distress related to the burden of caring for someone with psoriasis.
Living with psoriasis, you need all the support you can get, but your loved ones may not know what you want or need from them. Not knowing can be stressful for them, too. But because psoriasis can feel like a personal matter, it may be difficult to figure out how to start talking about it.
2:31Living with Plaque Psoriasis
2:31
Living with Plaque Psoriasis
Here are some tips to help you explain psoriasis to family and friends.
Wait Until You’re Ready
If you’re starting the conversation, it is up to you to decide when to talk about psoriasis.You may want to talk about it as quickly as possible or you may want to build some trust with people before you talk to them. Whenever you decide the time is right, it is a good idea to be prepared, open, and honest.
Be Informed
Become familiar with the most important facts about psoriasis and the latest developments on treatment and care so you can talk to your loved ones and answer any questions they may have. You might consider sharing an article or a website on psoriasis after you’ve finished telling them about it in your own words.
What Is Psoriasis?
Be Honest and Calm
There will be times whenpsoriasis symptomsworsen. Discuss with your loved one what these periods look like and what helps you to feel better. You’ll want to keep an open mind to avoid misunderstandings. Express concerns clearly and honestly while being considerate of your loved one’s questions and concerns, too.
Be Specific
When asking for help, be as specific as possible. It is your responsibility to communicate your health concerns and needs. You can suggest ways friends and loved ones can help. Maybe your partner can cook a meal when you are not feeling well, help with housework, or pick up prescriptions for you. Or maybe your sibling or parent can be a shoulder to lean on when you are feeling run down physically or emotionally.
Let your loved one know your limitations. That way they know upfront if you may have to cancel plans, are unable to follow through on something, or just need help.
Can Stress Cause Psoriasis Flare-Ups?
Be an Active Listener
Even though you know better than anyone what you need, it is still important to include your loved one in the process. That way you are acknowledging the two of you are a team.
Ask questions such as, “What do you think?” or “How do you feel about this?” Working as a team, you will find additional solutions you would not have figured out alone.
Get Serious
It will be helpful for them to know you are doing everything you can to stay healthy. This will encourage them to step up when needed.
Assumptions about psoriasis can be frustrating, which is why many people downplay how psoriasis affects them. One of the biggest assumptions is that psoriasis is similar toeczema, a condition that makes skin red and itchy.
Psoriasis and eczema are both related to altered immune function, and they both involve an overactive immune system. However, there are differences between these two conditions, including how they are treated and managed.
Another assumption—and misconception—about psoriasis is that it iscontagious.Once people overcome that assumption, it becomes easier to help them understand the facts about the condition.
If an assumption comes up during your conversation, address it with straightforward facts and no judgment.
What to Say
Understanding the Link Between Psoriasis and Social Anxiety
Opening up to loved ones about your health and struggles with psoriasis isn’t going to be easy. Finding the right words can be hard. And while it is easy to tell someone the name of a condition, the name doesn’t help them understand the facts. Even directing someone where to look for information doesn’t explain how a disease specifically affects you.
There is also the difficulty in striking a balance in how much you should share about psoriasis. After all, living with a health condition can make you feel different and as if loved ones view you as fragile or needy. You may also worry that too much detail may scare people off.
While these are all valid concerns, your loved one will need to know in advance how to handle situations where you may need support and medical attention. While it is your decision to decide how much you want to share with friends and family, make sure you feel confident that what you have shared is enough should a difficult flare or medical event occur.
What to SayWhile I would like you to know the effects this disease has on me, I want to start with some medical facts. Then we can talk about how we both feel about this information.
While I would like you to know the effects this disease has on me, I want to start with some medical facts. Then we can talk about how we both feel about this information.
Anticipating Reactions
Another problem is that you cannot control someone’s reaction to this type of information. People may overreact—either they will treat you as if you are fragile or act as if changing your attitude, diet, or trying another remedy, will resolve your symptoms.
For whatever reason, some people need to see something to believe it. People with psoriasis become good at masking health problems because they are tired of hearing things like, “But you don’t look sick.”
When people respond with prejudice, it is usually based on misinformation, misunderstanding, and even stereotypes. And, while you cannot control the responses of others, you can decide how to respond. Decide whether you want to let them know how you feel, and address their thinking with facts where possible.
What to SayWhen you respond in this way, it makes me feel like I don’t want to share this part of my life with you. I don’t want to feel like I have to justify the effect psoriasis has on my health. I’d rather be able to come to you with confidence and share information and my concerns.
When you respond in this way, it makes me feel like I don’t want to share this part of my life with you. I don’t want to feel like I have to justify the effect psoriasis has on my health. I’d rather be able to come to you with confidence and share information and my concerns.
Having the support of loved ones is something every single person with psoriasis wants, and there is nothing worse than being told or made to feel like you are faking an illness. But don’t let these fears stop you from speaking up.
And yes, there will be people in your life whose love and support you may not get. Unfortunately, some of these people may be close to you. But when all else fails, having just one person who supports you, educates themselves about psoriasis and your medical options, and who steps up to help when needed, is a blessing.
You are allowed to feel heartbroken over people’s past responses. You also get to decide whether you can give people another opportunity to step up.
What to SayI know my having psoriasis can be difficult for you, as it is for me. I understand you want to avoid talking about it because it is a difficult topic, but I really need your support.
I know my having psoriasis can be difficult for you, as it is for me. I understand you want to avoid talking about it because it is a difficult topic, but I really need your support.
Unhelpful and Unsolicited Advice
Revealing your challenges with psoriasis can be difficult, especially when family, friends, and even strangers want to offer medical advice on subjects they know nothing about. It is hard for others to understand you are not just accepting your fate.
They may not always understand you have done your research on thelatest treatmentsand seen a variety of healthcare providers, or that you are the expert on your particular experience with psoriasis.
Another problem that you may experience is unsolicited advice about diet, drugs, or supplements. One way to handle this is to thank the person without addressing the advice. In this way, you can avoid engaging in further dialogue about that information. Another approach might be to simply tell the person that you are in the hands ofgood healthcare providersand you are happy with how they are treating your condition.
What to SayI appreciate your help, but my healthcare provider and I already have a treatment plan in place that is working.
I appreciate your help, but my healthcare provider and I already have a treatment plan in place that is working.
Summary
It can be difficult to talk to your friends and loved ones about your psoriasis. However, you may find yourself needing their support, espeically during flare-ups.
Be prepared to address incorrect assumptions and try to have answers for anticipated reactions. Remember that not everyone will respond positively, but having just a few people on your side can be very helpful as you navigate your disease and its treatment.
How Psoriasis Is Treated
2 SourcesVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Kolli SS, Amin SD, Pona A, Cline A, Feldman SR.Psychosocial impact of psoriasis: A review for dermatology residents.Cutis. 2018;102(5S):21-5.National Psoriasis Foundation.Relationships.
2 Sources
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Kolli SS, Amin SD, Pona A, Cline A, Feldman SR.Psychosocial impact of psoriasis: A review for dermatology residents.Cutis. 2018;102(5S):21-5.National Psoriasis Foundation.Relationships.
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Kolli SS, Amin SD, Pona A, Cline A, Feldman SR.Psychosocial impact of psoriasis: A review for dermatology residents.Cutis. 2018;102(5S):21-5.National Psoriasis Foundation.Relationships.
Kolli SS, Amin SD, Pona A, Cline A, Feldman SR.Psychosocial impact of psoriasis: A review for dermatology residents.Cutis. 2018;102(5S):21-5.
National Psoriasis Foundation.Relationships.
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