Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsUnderstanding GriefNormal GriefComplicated GriefHow to Tell the DifferenceOther Types of GriefFrequently Asked Questions
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
Understanding Grief
Normal Grief
Complicated Grief
How to Tell the Difference
Other Types of Grief
Frequently Asked Questions
Griefis an expected response to a painful loss, the experience and duration of which can vary from one person to the next. Inpsychology, the variations in response can range fromnormal grieftocomplicated grief.
“Normal” or uncomplicated grief suggests that a person is processing their feelings in a way typical to cultural expectations, while complicated grief suggests that they are not.The terms are not meant to imply that either response is “right” or “wrong.”
This article explains what grief actually is and the ways in which normal grief differs from complicated grief.
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What Is Grief?
Grief is the powerful set of feelings that human beings have after a painful or traumatic loss. The intense feelings of grief are not something a person has much control over.
Feelings of grief are usually associated with the death of a loved one, but there are also other losses that can trigger grief, including:
Grief is not a single emotion. It’s an experience that you feel physically, emotionally, mentally, and/or spiritually when you go through a meaningful loss.
What Is Anticipatory Grief?
What Is Normal Grief?
Grief is a necessary part of going through a painful or traumatic loss. While grief is different for everyone, most people have common experiences and emotions in the days, weeks, or months following the major loss. This is referred to as normal grief.
Symptoms of normal grief include:
There is no set timetable for grief. That said, people with normal grief will graduallyestablish a “new normal"in the ensuing weeks or months. They may never entirely forget the loss but, in time, will learn how to cope with it.
Managing Important Tasks While You Are Grieving
What Is Complicated Grief?
Normal grief is temporary. Withcomplicated grief, the response to a loss or death does not fade over impacts someone’s ability to feel or function normally.
People refer to complicated grief in different ways, including chronic grief, atypical grief, exaggerated grief, pathological grief, and persistent complex bereavement disorder.
In the most current revision of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5-TR), the most commonly-used reference for diagnosing mental disorders, the American Psychiatric Association included the diagnosis of prolonged grief disorder.
Whatever the name, the condition infers the abnormal delay or absence of coping in a way that causes undue disability or distress.
The characteristics of complicated grief can include many of the same experiences as normal grief. However, other symptoms may include:
How to Let Go of Grief
How to Know If It’s Complicated Grief
There is no set point at which normal grief becomes complicated grief. Even so, many people find that the first year following a major loss is hard to get through. There are holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other significant dates and events that serve as reminders of a loss.
If you are experiencing complicated grief, you may feel “trapped” in your grief. You might feel as if your grief has stayed the same or gotten worse over time.
Working with a mental health professional can help you learn about your grief response and find ways to cope. You may also want to considerjoining a bereavement support group, particularly one for people who are going through a similar loss as yours.
Grief can make a person feel very alone. Talking about your situation with others who are mourning may help you understand your own feelings.
Four Phases and Tasks of Grief
Other Types Related to Complicated Grief
There are certain types of grief that may predispose to complicated grief. But this is not necessarily the case, and these types of grief may resolve in the same way as normal grief.
Delayed Grief
Delayed griefis when a person’s normal grief response is put off until a later time. A person might be doing this intentionally or without even realizing it.
In some cases, a person may feel the need to “put on a brave face” and “be strong.” Or, they might feel a responsibility to help other loved ones cope. The pressure to take on this role may start during thefuneral arrangementsor in the weeks and months that follow.
There may be other reasons for delayed grief. For example, a person may be under too much stress, need more time to process the loss, or feel that they can’t grieve until something “triggers” those feelings.
How Grief Is Different During COVID-19
Disenfranchised Grief
Disenfranchised grief, also known as silent grief, occurs when a grieving person feels they cannot openly acknowledge certain significant losses because of real or imagined societal pressures. The source of this pressure could be family and friends, cultural or religious beliefs, or society in general.
For example, the stigma around HIV, miscarriage, and same-sex marriage can affect whether people feel they can grieve openly.
Traumatic Grief
Traumatic griefcan occur when a death takes place violently, unexpectedly, or causes the loss of someone who “dies before their time.” Examples include thedeath of an infant or child, a friend or family member who has been murdered, or a loved one who has died violently in an accident.
Sudden or traumatic grief can lead to very intense reactions. In some cases, people may develop and require treatment forpost-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Summary
Grief is part of how humans respond to significant losses. Each person experiences grief differently. However, there are many things that most people commonly experience as they process their grief.
Normal grief describes the typical feelings that people have in the first weeks or months after a loss. This type of grief will get better with time as people learn to cope with the loss.
Complicated grief describes feelings and responses that can be extremely intense and persistent. A person with complicated grief may need more support to help them understand what they are feeling and how to move through the grieving process.
A Word From Verywell
If you are experiencing delayed, disenfranchised, or traumatic grief, it does not mean that you will develop complicated grief. Many people are still able to process their grief even if the process is not typical.
If you’re having a hard time with your grief experience, it’s important to work with a mental health professional. They can help you figure out if you have complicated grief and help you cope with what you are going through.
Frequently Asked QuestionsBereavement is the period of grief and mourning following a loss or death. It can manifest in emotional reactions like anger, anxiety, despair, guilt, and sadness. Physical reactions are also possible and may include illness or disability, changes in appetite, and problems with sleep.Working with atherapistis the go-to method of managing complicated grief. It may involve one-on-one or group counseling, While there are no medications to treat complicated grief,antidepressantsare often prescribed for co-occurring depression or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).Learn MoreWhat Type of Psychotherapist Do I Need?There are small differences between grief and mourning. Grief refers to a person’s emotional reaction following a loss. Mourning is the outward or public-facing display of grief and depends on a person’s beliefs, religion, and culture.
Bereavement is the period of grief and mourning following a loss or death. It can manifest in emotional reactions like anger, anxiety, despair, guilt, and sadness. Physical reactions are also possible and may include illness or disability, changes in appetite, and problems with sleep.
Working with atherapistis the go-to method of managing complicated grief. It may involve one-on-one or group counseling, While there are no medications to treat complicated grief,antidepressantsare often prescribed for co-occurring depression or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).Learn MoreWhat Type of Psychotherapist Do I Need?
Working with atherapistis the go-to method of managing complicated grief. It may involve one-on-one or group counseling, While there are no medications to treat complicated grief,antidepressantsare often prescribed for co-occurring depression or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Learn MoreWhat Type of Psychotherapist Do I Need?
There are small differences between grief and mourning. Grief refers to a person’s emotional reaction following a loss. Mourning is the outward or public-facing display of grief and depends on a person’s beliefs, religion, and culture.
9 SourcesVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Dodd A, Guerin S, Delaney S, Dodd P.Complicated grief: Knowledge, attitudes, skills and training of mental health professionals: A systematic review.Patient Education and Counseling. 2017;100(8):1447-1458. doi:10.1016/j.pec.2017.03.010National Cancer Institute.Grief, bereavement, and coping with loss: health professional version.Hamilton IJ.Understanding grief and bereavement.Br J Gen Pract.2016;66(651):523. doi:10.3399/bjgp16X687325Shear MK.Grief and mourning gone awry: pathway and course of complicated grief.Dialogues Clin Neurosci. 2022;14(2):119–128. doi:10.31887/DCNS.2012.14.2/mshearShear MK, Simon N, Wall M, et al.Complicated grief and related bereavement issues for DSM-5.Depress Anxiety. 2011;28(2):103–117. doi:10.1002/da.20780American Psychiatric Association.Prolonged grief disorder.Nakajima S.Complicated grief: recent developments in diagnostic criteria and treatment.Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci.2018;53(73):217-273. doi:10.1098/rstb.2017.0273Lathrop D.Disenfranchised grief and physician burnout.Ann Fam Med.2017;15(4):375–8. doi:10.1370/afm.2074MedlinePlus.Bereavement.
9 Sources
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Dodd A, Guerin S, Delaney S, Dodd P.Complicated grief: Knowledge, attitudes, skills and training of mental health professionals: A systematic review.Patient Education and Counseling. 2017;100(8):1447-1458. doi:10.1016/j.pec.2017.03.010National Cancer Institute.Grief, bereavement, and coping with loss: health professional version.Hamilton IJ.Understanding grief and bereavement.Br J Gen Pract.2016;66(651):523. doi:10.3399/bjgp16X687325Shear MK.Grief and mourning gone awry: pathway and course of complicated grief.Dialogues Clin Neurosci. 2022;14(2):119–128. doi:10.31887/DCNS.2012.14.2/mshearShear MK, Simon N, Wall M, et al.Complicated grief and related bereavement issues for DSM-5.Depress Anxiety. 2011;28(2):103–117. doi:10.1002/da.20780American Psychiatric Association.Prolonged grief disorder.Nakajima S.Complicated grief: recent developments in diagnostic criteria and treatment.Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci.2018;53(73):217-273. doi:10.1098/rstb.2017.0273Lathrop D.Disenfranchised grief and physician burnout.Ann Fam Med.2017;15(4):375–8. doi:10.1370/afm.2074MedlinePlus.Bereavement.
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Dodd A, Guerin S, Delaney S, Dodd P.Complicated grief: Knowledge, attitudes, skills and training of mental health professionals: A systematic review.Patient Education and Counseling. 2017;100(8):1447-1458. doi:10.1016/j.pec.2017.03.010National Cancer Institute.Grief, bereavement, and coping with loss: health professional version.Hamilton IJ.Understanding grief and bereavement.Br J Gen Pract.2016;66(651):523. doi:10.3399/bjgp16X687325Shear MK.Grief and mourning gone awry: pathway and course of complicated grief.Dialogues Clin Neurosci. 2022;14(2):119–128. doi:10.31887/DCNS.2012.14.2/mshearShear MK, Simon N, Wall M, et al.Complicated grief and related bereavement issues for DSM-5.Depress Anxiety. 2011;28(2):103–117. doi:10.1002/da.20780American Psychiatric Association.Prolonged grief disorder.Nakajima S.Complicated grief: recent developments in diagnostic criteria and treatment.Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci.2018;53(73):217-273. doi:10.1098/rstb.2017.0273Lathrop D.Disenfranchised grief and physician burnout.Ann Fam Med.2017;15(4):375–8. doi:10.1370/afm.2074MedlinePlus.Bereavement.
Dodd A, Guerin S, Delaney S, Dodd P.Complicated grief: Knowledge, attitudes, skills and training of mental health professionals: A systematic review.Patient Education and Counseling. 2017;100(8):1447-1458. doi:10.1016/j.pec.2017.03.010
National Cancer Institute.Grief, bereavement, and coping with loss: health professional version.
Hamilton IJ.Understanding grief and bereavement.Br J Gen Pract.2016;66(651):523. doi:10.3399/bjgp16X687325
Shear MK.Grief and mourning gone awry: pathway and course of complicated grief.Dialogues Clin Neurosci. 2022;14(2):119–128. doi:10.31887/DCNS.2012.14.2/mshear
Shear MK, Simon N, Wall M, et al.Complicated grief and related bereavement issues for DSM-5.Depress Anxiety. 2011;28(2):103–117. doi:10.1002/da.20780
American Psychiatric Association.Prolonged grief disorder.
Nakajima S.Complicated grief: recent developments in diagnostic criteria and treatment.Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci.2018;53(73):217-273. doi:10.1098/rstb.2017.0273
Lathrop D.Disenfranchised grief and physician burnout.Ann Fam Med.2017;15(4):375–8. doi:10.1370/afm.2074
MedlinePlus.Bereavement.
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