Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsHow They’re FormedAttachment and RelationshipsSecure AttachmentAnxious/Ambivalent AttachmentAvoidant/Dismissive AttachmentFearful-Avoidant/Disordered AttachmentChanging Your Style

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

How They’re Formed

Attachment and Relationships

Secure Attachment

Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment

Avoidant/Dismissive Attachment

Fearful-Avoidant/Disordered Attachment

Changing Your Style

Adults can express different attachment styles in close relationships. These styles are formed in infancy, when almost all children form an attachment to at least one caregiver—even if that caregiver doesn’t consistently meet their needs.

Children, and later adults, can express four basic attachment styles, including secure, anxious/ambivalent,avoidant/dismissive, and fearful-avoidant/disordered. These general categories can help people understand their relationship dynamics.

This article will review how attachments form when a person is young and how they affect adult relationships. It will then discuss each of the four attachment styles. The article will also address how to identify and change your attachment style.

Jessica Olah / Verywell

The 4 Styles of Attachment

How Attachments Form

Attachment theory looks at the emotional ties between an infant and their caregiver.

Attachment styles describe the quality and characteristics of a person’s attachments. They begin developing at birth when an infant expresses needs through crying, seeking physical closeness, and other behaviors. Over time, the infant learns how their caregiver responds to these needs.

An infant uses regular caregiver interactions to form internal working models—mental representations of self and others that help the child know what to expect from interactions.These models may look like, “If I cry, my caregiver will check on me,” or, “If I am upset, my caregiver will comfort and reassure me.”

Attachment theory is most noticeable in young children, but the attachment style formed in infancy and early childhood can affect close relationships into adulthood.

People with a history of positive experiences of support tend to trust and expect that others will be there for them, while those who have experienced inconsistent or lacking support don’t tend to count on others.Traumathat occurs during childhood, such as abuse, witnessing violence, or growing up in a household with substance and mental health problems, can also hinder secure attachment.

Caregivers Can’t Be PerfectAttachment styles are formed through many interactions and overall patterns. Unlesstrauma(such as abuse or neglect) is present, occasional negative interactions are unlikely to create insecure attachments in a child. Nearly every caregiver will occasionally become frustrated, yell, or appear inattentive at some point.

Caregivers Can’t Be Perfect

Attachment styles are formed through many interactions and overall patterns. Unlesstrauma(such as abuse or neglect) is present, occasional negative interactions are unlikely to create insecure attachments in a child. Nearly every caregiver will occasionally become frustrated, yell, or appear inattentive at some point.

How Attachment Styles Affect Adult Relationships

Internal models of attachment built in infancy can have a lasting effect. They continue to be used in close adult relationships, including with romantic partners and friends. Adults whose early needs were not consistently met, or were met with negative responses like yelling, can have trouble forming healthy attachments.

A securely attached person is likely to provide support and comfort to their partner and be confident that their partner will give the same to them.Someone with an insecure attachment may worry their partner will leave them and require frequent reassurance. They may find being intimate and vulnerable difficult and pull away from their partner, or they may engage in other maladaptive (negative) relationship behaviors.

This doesn’t mean people who formed early insecure attachments will always repeat the pattern. Internal models can change in response to new experiences, and attachment styles may differ between relationships for the same person.

Identifying the attachment styles of all partners is a crucial step in maintaining a healthy relationship. It gives insight into the needs and behaviors of each partner.For example, avoidant partners may relate better to practical support. They may want their partners to help them reinterpret a stressful event more positively.

When discussing research on adult attachment, it’s important to note that some limitations exist:

The exact purpose of attachment in adult relationships is not as well understood as in infant-caregiver relationships. Existing research can launch a discussion, but more research is needed for a better understanding of how attachment theory applies to adults.

Secure attachment is the most common attachment style.Secure individuals are confident in their ability to meet the needs of others and have healthy, reasonable expectations that their own needs will be met.

People with secure attachment tend to be good at:

Anxious/ambivalent attachment(sometimes called ambivalent or preoccupied) is considered insecure attachment. Highly anxious individuals may:

These behaviors are more likely to occur when the anxious individual is feeling distressed. The coping strategies can be overwhelming for partners, and the anxious individual may be viewed as clingy.

Avoidant (sometimes called dismissive) attachments are also insecure.Avoidant individuals may:

These beliefs and behaviors can make it difficult for avoidant individuals to form intimate relationships.

Fearful (sometimes called fearful-avoidant or disordered) attachment is the third insecure attachment style.

Fearful individuals experience both anxiety and avoidance. They want to be in close relationships, but they lack confidence and security in themselves, their partner, and their relationships.

Fearful individuals may:

How to Change Your Attachment Style

Attachment styles formed in childhood tend to be enduring and can affect future relationships with others.However, styles can change over time in response to new experiences with different attachment figures, or in response to treatment interventions.

If you feel like an insecure attachment style affects one or more of your relationships, try the following steps to start changing your attachment.

Identify Your Attachment

Acknowledging your attachment style is essential if you wish to make a change.

Several assessments for attachment styles exist:

Learn From Others

For some people, ongoing positive relationship experiences may help change negative working models adapted from previous insecure attachment relationships.

A 2020 study suggests that another way to change attachment styles is to “fake it til you make it.” Essentially, the idea is that acting less anxious or avoidant for an extended period can change traits over time, leading to an actual reduction of anxiety or avoidance.

Psychotherapy

Two types of psychotherapy (talk therapy) can help change your attachment style. The effectiveness of this approach in improving attachment security is unclear, but some studies suggest that attachment security increases at least somewhat with the help of psychotherapy.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy(CBT) is a type of psychotherapy that helps a person identify problematic thought processes and behaviors, and then use exercises and techniques to change them into healthier ones.

One study found that anxious and avoidant attachment improved in participants withpanic disorder with agoraphobia(PDA) who received CBT treatment.

Interpersonal Psychotherapy for Depressed Adolescents

Research has shown promising results for IPT-A in improving social adjustment in adolescents with depression.More research is needed to determine if IPT is effective with insecurely attached adolescents and adults without co-occurring depression.

The effectiveness of psychotherapy overall in improving attachment security has not yet been determined, but current studies suggest that attachment security increases at least slightly with the help of psychotherapy.

Summary

Attachment styles are formed in infancy and early childhood based on patterns of positive or negative experiences with caregivers.

The four adult attachment styles include: secure (confident that needs will be met), anxious/ambivalent (unsure if needs will be met, comfort-seeking), avoidant/dismissive (believes needs will not be met, independence-seeking), and fearful-avoidant/disordered (desiring but fearful of close relationships).

Children who have their needs met regularly usually develop secure attachments, while those whose needs aren’t regularly met develop insecure attachments. These attachments persist into adulthood, but it is possible for a person to change them.

16 SourcesVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Leblanc É, Dégeilh F, Daneault V, Beauchamp MH, Bernier A.Attachment security in infancy: a preliminary study of prospective links to brain morphometry in late childhood.Front Psychol. 2017;8:2141. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.02141University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.A brief overview of adult attachment theory and research.Canadian Psychological Association.“Psychology works” fact sheet: attachment in children.Simpson JA, Steven Rholes W.Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships.Curr Opin Psychol. 2017;13:19-24. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006Columbia University.How attachment styles influence romantic relationships.Young ES, Simpson JA, Griskevicius V, Huelsnitz CO, Fleck C.Childhood attachment and adult personality: A life history perspective.Self and Identity. 2019;18(1):22-38. doi:10.1080/15298868.2017.1353540Sheinbaum T, Kwapil TR, Ballespí S, et al.Attachment style predicts affect, cognitive appraisals, and social functioning in daily life.Front Psychol. 2015;6. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00296Simpson JA, Steven Rholes W.Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships.Curr Opin Psychol. 2017;13:19-24. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006Stanton SCE, Campbell L, Pink JC.Benefits of positive relationship experiences for avoidantly attached individuals.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2017;113(4):568-588. doi:10.1037/pspi0000098Hudson NW, Chopik WJ, Briley DA.Volitional change in adult attachment: can people who want to become less anxious and avoidant move closer towards realizing those goals?.Eur J Pers. 2020;34(1):93-114. doi:10.1002/per.2226American Psychological Association.Fearful attachment.Khiron Clinics.Understanding attachment styles part IIII: disorganised-insecure attachment.Young ES, Simpson JA, Griskevicius V, Huelsnitz CO, Fleck C.Childhood attachment and adult personality: A life history perspective.Self and Identity. 2019;18(1):22-38. doi:10.1080/15298868.2017.1353540Strauß B, Altmann U, Manes S, et al.Changes of attachment characteristics during psychotherapy of patients with social anxiety disorder: Results from the SOPHO-Net trial.PLoS ONE. 2018;13(3):e0192802. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0192802Zalaznik D, Weiss M, Huppert JD.Improvement in adult anxious and avoidant attachment during cognitive behavioral therapy for panic disorder.Psychotherapy Research. 2019;29(3):337-353. doi:10.1080/10503307.2017.1365183Gunlicks-Stoessel M, Westervelt A, Reigstad K, Mufson L, Lee S.The role of attachment style in interpersonal psychotherapy for depressed adolescents.Psychotherapy Research. 2019;29(1):78-85. doi:10.1080%2F10503307.2017.1315465

16 Sources

Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Leblanc É, Dégeilh F, Daneault V, Beauchamp MH, Bernier A.Attachment security in infancy: a preliminary study of prospective links to brain morphometry in late childhood.Front Psychol. 2017;8:2141. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.02141University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.A brief overview of adult attachment theory and research.Canadian Psychological Association.“Psychology works” fact sheet: attachment in children.Simpson JA, Steven Rholes W.Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships.Curr Opin Psychol. 2017;13:19-24. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006Columbia University.How attachment styles influence romantic relationships.Young ES, Simpson JA, Griskevicius V, Huelsnitz CO, Fleck C.Childhood attachment and adult personality: A life history perspective.Self and Identity. 2019;18(1):22-38. doi:10.1080/15298868.2017.1353540Sheinbaum T, Kwapil TR, Ballespí S, et al.Attachment style predicts affect, cognitive appraisals, and social functioning in daily life.Front Psychol. 2015;6. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00296Simpson JA, Steven Rholes W.Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships.Curr Opin Psychol. 2017;13:19-24. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006Stanton SCE, Campbell L, Pink JC.Benefits of positive relationship experiences for avoidantly attached individuals.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2017;113(4):568-588. doi:10.1037/pspi0000098Hudson NW, Chopik WJ, Briley DA.Volitional change in adult attachment: can people who want to become less anxious and avoidant move closer towards realizing those goals?.Eur J Pers. 2020;34(1):93-114. doi:10.1002/per.2226American Psychological Association.Fearful attachment.Khiron Clinics.Understanding attachment styles part IIII: disorganised-insecure attachment.Young ES, Simpson JA, Griskevicius V, Huelsnitz CO, Fleck C.Childhood attachment and adult personality: A life history perspective.Self and Identity. 2019;18(1):22-38. doi:10.1080/15298868.2017.1353540Strauß B, Altmann U, Manes S, et al.Changes of attachment characteristics during psychotherapy of patients with social anxiety disorder: Results from the SOPHO-Net trial.PLoS ONE. 2018;13(3):e0192802. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0192802Zalaznik D, Weiss M, Huppert JD.Improvement in adult anxious and avoidant attachment during cognitive behavioral therapy for panic disorder.Psychotherapy Research. 2019;29(3):337-353. doi:10.1080/10503307.2017.1365183Gunlicks-Stoessel M, Westervelt A, Reigstad K, Mufson L, Lee S.The role of attachment style in interpersonal psychotherapy for depressed adolescents.Psychotherapy Research. 2019;29(1):78-85. doi:10.1080%2F10503307.2017.1315465

Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Leblanc É, Dégeilh F, Daneault V, Beauchamp MH, Bernier A.Attachment security in infancy: a preliminary study of prospective links to brain morphometry in late childhood.Front Psychol. 2017;8:2141. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.02141University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.A brief overview of adult attachment theory and research.Canadian Psychological Association.“Psychology works” fact sheet: attachment in children.Simpson JA, Steven Rholes W.Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships.Curr Opin Psychol. 2017;13:19-24. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006Columbia University.How attachment styles influence romantic relationships.Young ES, Simpson JA, Griskevicius V, Huelsnitz CO, Fleck C.Childhood attachment and adult personality: A life history perspective.Self and Identity. 2019;18(1):22-38. doi:10.1080/15298868.2017.1353540Sheinbaum T, Kwapil TR, Ballespí S, et al.Attachment style predicts affect, cognitive appraisals, and social functioning in daily life.Front Psychol. 2015;6. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00296Simpson JA, Steven Rholes W.Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships.Curr Opin Psychol. 2017;13:19-24. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006Stanton SCE, Campbell L, Pink JC.Benefits of positive relationship experiences for avoidantly attached individuals.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2017;113(4):568-588. doi:10.1037/pspi0000098Hudson NW, Chopik WJ, Briley DA.Volitional change in adult attachment: can people who want to become less anxious and avoidant move closer towards realizing those goals?.Eur J Pers. 2020;34(1):93-114. doi:10.1002/per.2226American Psychological Association.Fearful attachment.Khiron Clinics.Understanding attachment styles part IIII: disorganised-insecure attachment.Young ES, Simpson JA, Griskevicius V, Huelsnitz CO, Fleck C.Childhood attachment and adult personality: A life history perspective.Self and Identity. 2019;18(1):22-38. doi:10.1080/15298868.2017.1353540Strauß B, Altmann U, Manes S, et al.Changes of attachment characteristics during psychotherapy of patients with social anxiety disorder: Results from the SOPHO-Net trial.PLoS ONE. 2018;13(3):e0192802. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0192802Zalaznik D, Weiss M, Huppert JD.Improvement in adult anxious and avoidant attachment during cognitive behavioral therapy for panic disorder.Psychotherapy Research. 2019;29(3):337-353. doi:10.1080/10503307.2017.1365183Gunlicks-Stoessel M, Westervelt A, Reigstad K, Mufson L, Lee S.The role of attachment style in interpersonal psychotherapy for depressed adolescents.Psychotherapy Research. 2019;29(1):78-85. doi:10.1080%2F10503307.2017.1315465

Leblanc É, Dégeilh F, Daneault V, Beauchamp MH, Bernier A.Attachment security in infancy: a preliminary study of prospective links to brain morphometry in late childhood.Front Psychol. 2017;8:2141. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.02141

University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.A brief overview of adult attachment theory and research.

Canadian Psychological Association.“Psychology works” fact sheet: attachment in children.

Simpson JA, Steven Rholes W.Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships.Curr Opin Psychol. 2017;13:19-24. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006

Columbia University.How attachment styles influence romantic relationships.

Young ES, Simpson JA, Griskevicius V, Huelsnitz CO, Fleck C.Childhood attachment and adult personality: A life history perspective.Self and Identity. 2019;18(1):22-38. doi:10.1080/15298868.2017.1353540

Sheinbaum T, Kwapil TR, Ballespí S, et al.Attachment style predicts affect, cognitive appraisals, and social functioning in daily life.Front Psychol. 2015;6. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00296

Stanton SCE, Campbell L, Pink JC.Benefits of positive relationship experiences for avoidantly attached individuals.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2017;113(4):568-588. doi:10.1037/pspi0000098

Hudson NW, Chopik WJ, Briley DA.Volitional change in adult attachment: can people who want to become less anxious and avoidant move closer towards realizing those goals?.Eur J Pers. 2020;34(1):93-114. doi:10.1002/per.2226

American Psychological Association.Fearful attachment.

Khiron Clinics.Understanding attachment styles part IIII: disorganised-insecure attachment.

Strauß B, Altmann U, Manes S, et al.Changes of attachment characteristics during psychotherapy of patients with social anxiety disorder: Results from the SOPHO-Net trial.PLoS ONE. 2018;13(3):e0192802. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0192802

Zalaznik D, Weiss M, Huppert JD.Improvement in adult anxious and avoidant attachment during cognitive behavioral therapy for panic disorder.Psychotherapy Research. 2019;29(3):337-353. doi:10.1080/10503307.2017.1365183

Gunlicks-Stoessel M, Westervelt A, Reigstad K, Mufson L, Lee S.The role of attachment style in interpersonal psychotherapy for depressed adolescents.Psychotherapy Research. 2019;29(1):78-85. doi:10.1080%2F10503307.2017.1315465

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