Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsFour Stages of GriefTypes of GriefFour Tasks of Mourning
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
Four Stages of Grief
Types of Grief
Four Tasks of Mourning
Knowing the four stages of grief can help you to understand your feelings of loss. Your reaction to the death of a loved one is deeply personal and everyone experiences their grief response differently.
You might move through the phases quickly, for example, or relatively slowly; you might move through them in a different order, or you might skip a phase or task altogether, or experience one more than once. However you move through the grieving process, just trust that it will be the right way for you as you adjust to the reality of the loss.
This article discusses the four stages of grieving and the feelings you may experience in each stage. It also addresses different types of grieving and the tasks that may help you come to terms with a new state of normalcy.
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What Are the Four Stages of Grief?
Shock and Numbness
This phase immediately follows a loss to death. The grieving person feels numb, which is a self-defense mechanism that allows him or her to survive emotionally in the immediate aftermath of loss.
Yearning and Searching
Disorganization and Despair
The grieving person often desires to withdraw and disengage from others and the activities he or she regularly enjoyed during this phase. Having accepted the reality of the loss, the bereaved’s feelings of searching and yearning become less intense while feelings of apathy, anger, despair, hopelessness, and questioning increase.
Reorganization and Recovery
In the final phase, the grieving person begins to return to a new state of “normal.” Weight loss experienced during intense grieving might reverse, energy levels increase, and interest in enjoyable activities returns. Grief never ends, but thoughts of sadness and despair diminish while positive memories of the deceased take over.
Because everyone grieves in their own way and at their own pace, there is no specific or “usual” amount of time in which people experience/complete these phases. In some cases, receiving bereavement counseling and/orjoining a bereavement support groupcan help a grieving individual move through the phases more fluidly.
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There are many different ways to grieve, depending on the person and their loss. Some of the different types of grieving include:
The Four Tasks of Mourning
In 1982, American psychologist William J. Worden published his book “Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy,” which delineated his concept of the four tasks of mourning:
Accept the Reality of the Loss
Coming full face with the reality that the person is dead and will not return is the first task a grieving individual needs to complete. Without accomplishing this, you will not be able to continue through the mourning process.
Work Through the Pain of Grief
Your reaction to thedeath of a loved oneis often painful, and you will experience a wide range of emotions, such as anger, guilt, fear, depression, sadness, despair, etc. This task takes time. It requires the bereaved to acknowledge these different emotions and the pain, rather than suppressing or avoiding these feelings, in order to work through them.
Adjust to an Environment in Which the Deceased is Missing
In addition to emotional and/or psychological adjustments, this task might require adopting a role or function that the deceased once performed, and will vary based on the nature of the relationship. For example, if your spouse or partner dies, this task might involve you handling household finances, raising a child alone, finding a job or returning to a career, and more.
Find an Enduring Connection With the Deceased While Embarking on a New Life
While nothing can compel you to completely forget about your relationship with the deceased, the goal is to find an appropriate place in your emotional life moving forward and to begin living again. This might require letting go of attachments so that new, meaningful relationships can begin to form.
Working through these four tasks of mourning can help the bereaved come to terms with their loss and return to a new state of normalcy.Again, involvement in bereavement support groups or seeking grief counseling can help individuals move through these tasks.
Summary
The four stages of grief are shock/numbness, yearning/searching, disorganization/despair, and reorganization/recovery. When you lose a loved one, you may move through some or all of these phases.
You also may experience different types of grief in your life. These can include disenfranchised grief, complicated grief, anticipatory grief, breakup grief, and traumatic grief.
To help come to terms with your grief, certain tasks may help. Bereavement support groups and grief counselors can help as you begin to work through the pain of grief and adjust to a new normal.
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8 SourcesVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.University of Colorado Boulder.Four phases of grief: grieving the loss of a loved one.Harvard Health Publishing.5 stages of grief: Coping with the loss of a loved one.APA Dictionary of Psychology.Disenfranchised grief.APA Dictionary of Psychology.Complicated grief.APA Dictionary of Psychology.Anticipatory grief.APA Dictionary of Psychology.Traumatic grief.U.S Department of Veterans Affairs.Grief reactions, duration and tasks of mourning.Worden JW.Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner. Fifth edition. Springer Publishing Company; 2018.
8 Sources
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.University of Colorado Boulder.Four phases of grief: grieving the loss of a loved one.Harvard Health Publishing.5 stages of grief: Coping with the loss of a loved one.APA Dictionary of Psychology.Disenfranchised grief.APA Dictionary of Psychology.Complicated grief.APA Dictionary of Psychology.Anticipatory grief.APA Dictionary of Psychology.Traumatic grief.U.S Department of Veterans Affairs.Grief reactions, duration and tasks of mourning.Worden JW.Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner. Fifth edition. Springer Publishing Company; 2018.
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
University of Colorado Boulder.Four phases of grief: grieving the loss of a loved one.Harvard Health Publishing.5 stages of grief: Coping with the loss of a loved one.APA Dictionary of Psychology.Disenfranchised grief.APA Dictionary of Psychology.Complicated grief.APA Dictionary of Psychology.Anticipatory grief.APA Dictionary of Psychology.Traumatic grief.U.S Department of Veterans Affairs.Grief reactions, duration and tasks of mourning.Worden JW.Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner. Fifth edition. Springer Publishing Company; 2018.
University of Colorado Boulder.Four phases of grief: grieving the loss of a loved one.
Harvard Health Publishing.5 stages of grief: Coping with the loss of a loved one.
APA Dictionary of Psychology.Disenfranchised grief.
APA Dictionary of Psychology.Complicated grief.
APA Dictionary of Psychology.Anticipatory grief.
APA Dictionary of Psychology.Traumatic grief.
U.S Department of Veterans Affairs.Grief reactions, duration and tasks of mourning.
Worden JW.Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner. Fifth edition. Springer Publishing Company; 2018.
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