Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsCharacteristicsDiagnostic CriteriaRelationship EffectsCopingProfessional Support
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
Characteristics
Diagnostic Criteria
Relationship Effects
Coping
Professional Support
Sexual narcissism is a behavior pattern that only affects sexual experiences. The Sexual Narcissism Scale (SNS) is a tool that measures and identifies the four key components of sexual narcissism in a person, including sexual exploitation, sexual entitlement, a disregard for the needs of their partners, and a grandiose view of sexual skills.
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Sexual Narcissism Characteristics
Sexual Exploitation
Sexual exploitation is a willingness to manipulate or coerce others for sexual gratification.Sexual narcissists will often exploit or manipulate others for sexual satisfaction. Examples of sexual exploitation include:
A partner who frequently compromises their sexual boundaries or wishes to avoid conflict might be dealing with a sexual narcissist.
Sexual Entitlement
Sexual narcissists feel entitled to sexual gratification and believe their sexual needs are more important than their partners'.A sexual narcissist might:
Research shows that sexual narcissists with high levels of entitlement are more likely to engage in sexually aggressive behavior, including unwanted sexual contact, verbal coercion, and sexual assault.
Low Sexual Empathy
Low sexual empathy means that a person has little to no interest in their partner’s feelings or experiences during sexual interactions.A sexual narcissist:
Grandiose View of Sexual Skills
Sexual narcissists have an inflated view of their sexual abilities and performance.They exude confidence about sexual matters and may:
God Complex in Psychology: Traits, Causes, and Effects
Unlikenarcissistic personality disorder(NPD), there isn’t an official clinical diagnosis for sexual narcissism. The Sexual Narcissism Scale is a 20-item questionnaire that offers a structured way to gauge the extent to which narcissist traits show up in sexual behaviors.
The SNS assesses the degree of sexual narcissism through a series of statements people respond to on a 5-point scale, from strongly disagree (1) to strongly agree (5). Generally, higher scores indicate high levels of sexual narcissism. Some example statements from the SNS include:
Sexual narcissism can have a profoundly damaging effect on relationships. Partners of sexual narcissists may feel used, neglected, or unimportant when their partner ignores their emotional and physical needs, disregards their boundaries, or exploits them for sex. Over time, these dynamics can erode trust and emotional intimacy.
Partners of people with sexual narcissism often experience:
People with sexual narcissism may exploit their friends in pursuit of sexual conquests, seek sexual attention outside of their relationship, and engage in inappropriate flirting or infidelity.
How to Cope With Sexual Narcissism in a Partner
Sexual narcissistic behaviors are a form ofemotional abusethat can have long-lasting effects on partners. Coping with sexual narcissism in a partner can affect your mental health, sense of self-worth, and trust in yourself and others.
It’s natural to feel sad and confused about the dynamics in the relationship—especially when your partner generally only displays narcissistic qualities related to sexual activities. However, there are strategies to consider for coping with sexual narcissism in a partner.
Communicate Your Needs
If your partner genuinely cares about you and you both want to maintain the relationship, starting an open conversation can be a good first step.
Clear communication can help set the tone for change. While sexual narcissists may focus on their desires, it’s important to voice your own needs. This might not lead to immediate change, but it can help you clarify what you need from the relationship and clarify when your needs are not being met.
For example, you might say, “I love being intimate with you, and sex is an important part of our connection. But I’ve noticed that our sexual relationship feels one-sided. I’m starting to feel like my needs aren’t being met, and it’s hurting me. I want to talk about how we can work together to make things better.”
Set and Enforce Boundaries
Be clear about your emotional and physical limits. Communicate these boundaries firmly and consistently, and don’t be afraid to reinforce them. Sexual narcissists may attempt to manipulate or guilt you into giving in or doing something outside of your comfort zone. Standing your ground is important for your health and emotional well-being and the health and longevity of your relationship.
You might consider saying, “If this relationship is going to continue, I need respect and consideration when I’m not feeling up for sex. I can’t be with someone who punishes me emotionally, like giving the silent treatment or threatening to find sex elsewhere.”
Prioritize Yourself
Being in a relationship with a sexual narcissist can be emotionally draining. Take time for yourself outside of the relationship. Prioritize self-care, connect with friends and family, and engage in hobbies that bring you joy. Therapy can provide a safe space to address unhealthy patterns, such as emotional abuse, sexual coercion, and manipulation, and give you the tools necessary to cope.
Change is only possible if your partner is willing to work on their behavior. If they dismiss your concerns or continue disregarding your needs, remember that you are not responsible for your partner’s behavior and deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.
When to Seek Outside Support
Codependency, sexual abuse, or sexual coercion are serious issues that often require outside support.
Codependencycan lead to unhealthy dynamics where one partner feels overly responsible for the other’s emotional well-being, making it difficult to set boundaries or leave.Sexual abuse or rape is never justified and can have profound psychological effects. If you’re facing these issues, consider reaching out to professional resources, such as the following, that provide support for those in these situations:
Addressing Sexual Narcissism With a Professional
If you suspect you or your partner is a sexual narcissist, seeking professional help can be a valuable step towards healing and growth. A qualified mental health professional, such as a licensed therapist, relationship counselor, orsex therapist, can help navigate your relationship dynamics and address sexual narcissism and its impact on your relationship.
Therapy for sexual narcissism focuses on increasing empathy, exploring the roots of entitlement, and learning how to form healthier, more balanced relationships.If you’re the partner of someone with sexual narcissism, a therapist can guide you through setting and maintaining boundaries, improving communication, and identifying any harmful patterns that need addressing.
Therapy can also help you recognize when the relationship may be moving into emotionally or sexually abusive territory and help you create a safety plan, if necessary.
Summary
Sexual narcissism is a form of narcissism that centers on self-centered sexual behavior and a lack of empathy toward a partner’s needs. Key traits include sexual entitlement, exploitation, low sexual empathy, and an inflated sense of sexual skill, which can lead to unhealthy, manipulative dynamics in relationships. The effects on a partner can be emotionally damaging, often leaving them feeling devalued or pressured.
Addressing sexual narcissism with a mental health professional can provide tools for healing, whether you’re the one displaying these traits or are a partner of a sexual narcissist. Remember, support is available, and with the right help, healthier relationships are possible.
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Out of the Fog.Go see a therapist.
National Domestic Violence Hotline.Create your own safety plan.
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