Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsExamples of Self-DeprecationPositive Side of Self-Deprecating TraitsNegative Side of Self-Deprecating TraitsResponding to Self-Deprecating CommunicationHow to Mindfully Use Self-Deprecating HumorWays to Improve Social Skills
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
Examples of Self-Deprecation
Positive Side of Self-Deprecating Traits
Negative Side of Self-Deprecating Traits
Responding to Self-Deprecating Communication
How to Mindfully Use Self-Deprecating Humor
Ways to Improve Social Skills
“Self-deprecating” means “devaluing your qualities and capabilities.” People who act in a self-deprecating way may belittle themselves, have a negative self-assessment, or downplay their achievements and abilities.
This article will discuss examples of self-deprecation, the positive and negative sides of self-deprecating traits, responding toself-deprecating communication, how to use self-deprecating humor mindfully, and ways to improve social skills.
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Self-presentation is how people try to control how real or imagined audiences see them.How we present ourselvesdepends mainly on the context of the situation and our goals from the encounter.
Self-deprecation may be used in several ways, which are outlined below.
As Negative Self-Talk
As Humor
When used to elicit laughter, self-deprecation usually involves lightheartedly poking fun at yourself rather than genuinely conveying self-criticism. For self-deprecating humor to be successful, it tends to involve:
To Increase Likeability
Some people believe that being self-deprecating about their past may also enhance the image of their present self.
To Avoid Criticism
Prefacing a statement likely to offend with a self-deprecating comment can be an attempt tostave off criticism. For example, “I don’t mean to be rude, but . . .” This is done to give the appearance of taking ownership of the problematic statement and head off predicted criticism.
While a common tactic, it is often unsuccessful.
As Self-Protection
People who are shymay employ self-deprecation as a way to reduce their feelings of discomfort around other people. They may use this protective self-presentation because avoiding social disapproval is more important to them than gaining the approval of others.
Self-deprecation may be a way for people to excuse the mistakes or social failings they are afraid of making in a social setting.
Self-deprecating humor can be a way to help cope with or accept difficult situations or circumstances. This can be personal, such as making jokes about living with aserious illness. It can also be done to referencebigger-picture problems, such as a woman joking about still being single, to highlight sexist societal expectations, as comedian Joan Rivers often did.
Finding humor in the negative may help people cope not just in the moment but over time. When used appropriately, self-deprecating humor can be part of this coping mechanism.
Regular negative self-talk or self-denigration can be associated with depression and anxiety. It can also be a form ofself-sabotageif others believe the negative things the person says about themselves.
Frequent self-deprecating talk can make the person hearing it feel like they need to prop up the person doing the self-deprecating. This can feel burdensome for the other person and has the potential to strain relationships.
Persistent self-deprecation may be a symptom of lower life satisfaction and a factor in further damaging an already fragile self-esteem.
How to respondto someone who is using self-deprecation depends on the context. It’s OK, or even expected, to laugh at a well-intended, self-deprecating joke, but laughing at someone talking negatively about themselves would be less appropriate.
Some research has found that while people prefer to have the other person agree with their statements, the opposite is true for self-deprecation. Coordinating with the self-deprecation could be interpreted as endorsing or legitimizing self-criticism.
Self-deprecating humor works when it is a lighthearted way of not taking yourself too seriously. Making light of your faults or errors, while still being self-accepting, is a way to foster an affiliation with others, and release tension. Self-deprecating humor without the underlying self-acceptance can create tension rather than relieve it.
If you are unhappy with how you feel or behave insocial situations, you can try the following:
Summary
Self-deprecation is a means of devaluing your qualities, capabilities, or attributes. It can be used in negative self-talk, humor, increasing likeability, avoiding criticism, and self-protection.
Self-deprecation can be a helpful coping mechanism in difficult situations or circumstances when used appropriately.
Regular or persistent self-deprecation can negatively impact the person’s self-esteem.
Self-deprecating humor works when it is used in a lighthearted way while still being self-accepting. Self-deprecating humor that is genuinely critical can create tension and discomfort.
If you wish to improve yoursocial skills, some measures you can try include identifying the skills you want to grow, watching others who have mastered those skills, and practicing those skills with yourself and others.
8 SourcesVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Silva Santos IL, Pimentel CE, Evangelista Mariano T.Self-deprecation: searching for a measure: self-deprecation: searching for a measure.Psicogente. 2022;25(48):1-19. doi:10.17081/psico.25.48.4821Bober A, Gajewska E, Czaprowska A, Świątek AH, Szcześniak M.Impact of shyness on self-esteem: the mediating effect of self-presentation.IJERPH. 2021;19(1):230. doi:10.3390/ijerph19010230Speer SA.Reconsidering self‐deprecation as a communication practice.Br J Soc Psychol. 2019;58(4):806-828. doi:10.1111/bjso.12329University of Central Florida.Self-deprecation and the habit of laughter.Harvard Business Review.Sarcasm, self-deprecation, and inside jokes: a user’s guide to humor at work.Szcześniak M, Mazur P, Rodzeń W, Szpunar K.Influence of life satisfaction on self-esteem among young adults: the mediating role of self-presentation. PRBM. 2021;Volume 14:1473-1482. doi:10.2147/PRBM.S322788Rnic K, Dozois DJA, Martin RA.Cognitive distortions, humor styles, and depression.Eur J Psychol. 2016;12(3):348-362. doi:10.5964/ejop.v12i3.1118Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD).Relationships & social skills.
8 Sources
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Silva Santos IL, Pimentel CE, Evangelista Mariano T.Self-deprecation: searching for a measure: self-deprecation: searching for a measure.Psicogente. 2022;25(48):1-19. doi:10.17081/psico.25.48.4821Bober A, Gajewska E, Czaprowska A, Świątek AH, Szcześniak M.Impact of shyness on self-esteem: the mediating effect of self-presentation.IJERPH. 2021;19(1):230. doi:10.3390/ijerph19010230Speer SA.Reconsidering self‐deprecation as a communication practice.Br J Soc Psychol. 2019;58(4):806-828. doi:10.1111/bjso.12329University of Central Florida.Self-deprecation and the habit of laughter.Harvard Business Review.Sarcasm, self-deprecation, and inside jokes: a user’s guide to humor at work.Szcześniak M, Mazur P, Rodzeń W, Szpunar K.Influence of life satisfaction on self-esteem among young adults: the mediating role of self-presentation. PRBM. 2021;Volume 14:1473-1482. doi:10.2147/PRBM.S322788Rnic K, Dozois DJA, Martin RA.Cognitive distortions, humor styles, and depression.Eur J Psychol. 2016;12(3):348-362. doi:10.5964/ejop.v12i3.1118Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD).Relationships & social skills.
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Silva Santos IL, Pimentel CE, Evangelista Mariano T.Self-deprecation: searching for a measure: self-deprecation: searching for a measure.Psicogente. 2022;25(48):1-19. doi:10.17081/psico.25.48.4821Bober A, Gajewska E, Czaprowska A, Świątek AH, Szcześniak M.Impact of shyness on self-esteem: the mediating effect of self-presentation.IJERPH. 2021;19(1):230. doi:10.3390/ijerph19010230Speer SA.Reconsidering self‐deprecation as a communication practice.Br J Soc Psychol. 2019;58(4):806-828. doi:10.1111/bjso.12329University of Central Florida.Self-deprecation and the habit of laughter.Harvard Business Review.Sarcasm, self-deprecation, and inside jokes: a user’s guide to humor at work.Szcześniak M, Mazur P, Rodzeń W, Szpunar K.Influence of life satisfaction on self-esteem among young adults: the mediating role of self-presentation. PRBM. 2021;Volume 14:1473-1482. doi:10.2147/PRBM.S322788Rnic K, Dozois DJA, Martin RA.Cognitive distortions, humor styles, and depression.Eur J Psychol. 2016;12(3):348-362. doi:10.5964/ejop.v12i3.1118Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD).Relationships & social skills.
Silva Santos IL, Pimentel CE, Evangelista Mariano T.Self-deprecation: searching for a measure: self-deprecation: searching for a measure.Psicogente. 2022;25(48):1-19. doi:10.17081/psico.25.48.4821
Bober A, Gajewska E, Czaprowska A, Świątek AH, Szcześniak M.Impact of shyness on self-esteem: the mediating effect of self-presentation.IJERPH. 2021;19(1):230. doi:10.3390/ijerph19010230
Speer SA.Reconsidering self‐deprecation as a communication practice.Br J Soc Psychol. 2019;58(4):806-828. doi:10.1111/bjso.12329
University of Central Florida.Self-deprecation and the habit of laughter.
Harvard Business Review.Sarcasm, self-deprecation, and inside jokes: a user’s guide to humor at work.
Szcześniak M, Mazur P, Rodzeń W, Szpunar K.Influence of life satisfaction on self-esteem among young adults: the mediating role of self-presentation. PRBM. 2021;Volume 14:1473-1482. doi:10.2147/PRBM.S322788
Rnic K, Dozois DJA, Martin RA.Cognitive distortions, humor styles, and depression.Eur J Psychol. 2016;12(3):348-362. doi:10.5964/ejop.v12i3.1118
Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD).Relationships & social skills.
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