Asperger’s syndrome, a high-functioning autism, no longer exists as a discrete diagnosis. Today, people with traits of Asperger’s syndrome receive anautism spectrum disorderdiagnosis (assuming they choose to seek a diagnosis at all). The name “autism with low support needs” is used instead to describe this Level 1 autism diagnosis.
When you marry an autistic person with low support needs, it can still be difficult to deal with their limitations on social skills, interpersonal communication, empathetic understanding, or flexibility of thought.
Dr. Robert Naseef and Dr. Cindy Ariel are experts in counseling families that include an autistic person. They offer specific insights and advice to partners living with an autistic person with low support needs.
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Dr. Robert Naseef: Overcoming Loneliness in Marriage
If there is one word that describes the reaction of a family member to an autism diagnosis in someone you love, that word is loneliness. If this word describes you, rest assured that you are not alone in having this response. There is help available for both you and your partner. Now that autism is more widely recognized, adults and children who may not have been identified as autistic in the past are being diagnosed. This is particularly true forhigh-functioning autism (HFA).
Usually, with more information comes hope, so you may want to learn more about autism. There are numerous books and websites. One good medical site to start at would be thePENN Social Learning Disorders Program. There you will see your partner’s condition described as a social learning disorder, which is a helpful way to look at their differences andthe challengesthat face both of you.
It is also important to look at the history of your relationship. You must have had good times together and shared positive feelings about each other. Try to recapture what brought you together.
You may benefit from a consultation with a mental health professional who is experienced in helping people in your situation. Even if your partner won’t go with you, you may gain some insight into the relationship that will help you change the chemistry in your relationship.
Dr. Cindy Ariel: Cognitive Therapy Can Make a Positive Difference
While people can change to some extent, autism is part of someone’s identity, and some of its related characteristics are not changeable. Both parties may need to adjust.
Most people with high-functioning autism function at a high cognitive level, and that means your partner will be able to use that intelligence to learn social behavior that is more socially acceptable and empathetic.
Autistic people are able to move forward—not quickly and easily, perhaps, but slowly and steadily. It takes patience and perseverance. You will both have to change some of your current understanding and expectations. In every marriage, couples must make some sacrifices and compromises that they did not expect, and this often brings couples to a deeper, more mature place in their love, marriage, and commitment to one another.
2 SourcesVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Robledo J, Donnellan AM.Supportive Relationships in Autism Spectrum Disorder: Perspectives of Individuals with ASD and Supporters. Behav Sci (Basel). 2016 Nov 3;6(4):23. doi: 10.3390/bs6040023Ariel, C, Naseef, R.Alternative Choices.Additional ReadingNaseef R, Ariel C.Voices from the Spectrum: Parents, Grandparents, Siblings, People with Autism, and Professionals Share Their Wisdom. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
2 Sources
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Robledo J, Donnellan AM.Supportive Relationships in Autism Spectrum Disorder: Perspectives of Individuals with ASD and Supporters. Behav Sci (Basel). 2016 Nov 3;6(4):23. doi: 10.3390/bs6040023Ariel, C, Naseef, R.Alternative Choices.Additional ReadingNaseef R, Ariel C.Voices from the Spectrum: Parents, Grandparents, Siblings, People with Autism, and Professionals Share Their Wisdom. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Robledo J, Donnellan AM.Supportive Relationships in Autism Spectrum Disorder: Perspectives of Individuals with ASD and Supporters. Behav Sci (Basel). 2016 Nov 3;6(4):23. doi: 10.3390/bs6040023Ariel, C, Naseef, R.Alternative Choices.
Robledo J, Donnellan AM.Supportive Relationships in Autism Spectrum Disorder: Perspectives of Individuals with ASD and Supporters. Behav Sci (Basel). 2016 Nov 3;6(4):23. doi: 10.3390/bs6040023
Ariel, C, Naseef, R.Alternative Choices.
Naseef R, Ariel C.Voices from the Spectrum: Parents, Grandparents, Siblings, People with Autism, and Professionals Share Their Wisdom. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
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