Key TakeawaysIn 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General said the epidemic of loneliness and isolation are threatening individual and collective health.A recent study found that people who either spend a lot or very little time alone reported the greatest loneliness.The quality—not quantity—of time spent around other people matters more, experts say. The first step to curing loneliness is to deepen your social relationships and your relationship with yourself.

Key Takeaways

In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General said the epidemic of loneliness and isolation are threatening individual and collective health.A recent study found that people who either spend a lot or very little time alone reported the greatest loneliness.The quality—not quantity—of time spent around other people matters more, experts say. The first step to curing loneliness is to deepen your social relationships and your relationship with yourself.

Loneliness, in small doses, is a natural part of the human experience. But when it becomes a consistent, significant factor in someone’s life—as it has for millions of Americans—it can have a severe impact on their mental health, physical health, and quality of life.

According to a 2023Gallup survey, 17% of U.S. adults reported experiencing significant loneliness. Despite a decline in reported loneliness since the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, 17% represents 44 million adults—a significant portion of the U.S. population.

So what’s causing this deep sense of loneliness?

One recent study found that people who either spend a lot or very little time alone reported the greatest loneliness. But those who spend moderate amount of time alone—about 25% to 75% of their waking hours—experienced lower rates of loneliness.

However, as people get older, time spent alone is increasingly associated with loneliness. In the study, researchers also found that people aged 40 and above who are single tend to be lonelier than those who are partnered.

But another study in 2018 found that loneliness has more to do with the quality of relationships than time spent alone, suggesting that the “perceived quality” of interpersonal connections was associated with poor mental health.That study also showed that having poor-quality relationships was associated with a greater level of distress than having too few.

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“It is the lack of meaningful connection that often leads to a sense of loneliness, rather than merely spending time alone,” saidPatricia Fahmy, LPCC, a licensed therapist and the founder of Healing Connections Holistic Therapy.

Fahmy said she often works with individuals who are in committed relationships yet feel utterly alone. Everyone has an innate desire to feel seen, heard, understood, and valued, she said, but when these needs are not met, it can create a sense of disconnection and lead to feeling “lonely” or “alone.”

“Before loneliness becomes a mindset, let it be a sign to take better care of yourself and engage in authentic relationships where you feel seen and valued,” Rutledge told Verywell.

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Is There a Cure for Loneliness?

Getting a pet, nurturing intergenerational friendships, and building a family can all serve as potential solutions to loneliness, Fahmy said. However, the impact of each of these solutions will inevitably vary from person to person.

Having a pet can provide companionship, she explained, which can be especially impactful for those who might not have consistent human connection. Meanwhile, intergenerational friendships can offer different perspectives and support.

“Being an active member in our community, whether it be through volunteer work or being a part of a social group that allows us to engage with like-minded individuals, can lead to feeling a sense of belonging,” Fahmy added. “In healthy, secure marriages where both partners feel a sense of safety, trust, and closeness within the relationship, we can experience a strong sense of connectedness.”

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Both Fahmy and Rutledge agreed that the first step to curing loneliness is nurturing and working on the relationship you have with yourself.

“Oftentimes, those who lack self-love and self-acceptance often fail to find it elsewhere,” Fahmy said. “This is possibly because we might unconsciously believe we are not worthy or deserving of it. Learning to enjoy our own company and finding joy from within is vital.”

To do this, Rutledge recommends designing a daily or weekly ritual that is uniquely yours, including activities such as morning meditations, journaling, or taking a walk. These rituals strengthen your connection with yourself and foster gratitude, she said, whether you’re single or in a relationship and whether you have many friends or just a few.

Fahmy said people often internalize stereotypes that suggest being single and spending time alone lead to loneliness, and this belief alone can reinforce loneliness. If you believe something must be wrong with you, or that you’re undesirable in some way, this only further perpetuates the cycle.

Fahmy said learning to challenge these thoughts, and working on having a positive relationship with yourself, will eventually lead you to attract the love and connection you seek.

“The best cure for loneliness is likely a combination of factors,” Fahmy said. “It’s an ongoing process of self-discovery and intentional relationship-building with both ourselves and others that can contribute to a more fulfilling and connected life.”

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What This Means For YouGetting a pet, nurturing intergenerational friendships, building a family, and being an active member of your community can all serve as potential solutions to loneliness. But experts say the first step to “curing” loneliness is to forge a healthy relationship with yourself.

What This Means For You

Getting a pet, nurturing intergenerational friendships, building a family, and being an active member of your community can all serve as potential solutions to loneliness. But experts say the first step to “curing” loneliness is to forge a healthy relationship with yourself.

3 SourcesVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Demarinis S.Loneliness at epidemic levels in America.Explore (NY). 2020;16(5):278-279. doi:10.1016/j.explore.2020.06.008Danvers AF, Efinger LD, Mehl MR, et al.Loneliness and time alone in everyday life: a descriptive-exploratory study of subjective and objective social isolation.J Res Pers. 2023;107:104426. doi:10.1016/j.jrp.2023.104426Hyland P, Shevlin M, Cloitre M, et al.Quality not quantity: loneliness subtypes, psychological trauma, and mental health in the US adult population.Soc Psychiatry Psychiatr Epidemiol. 2019;54(9):1089-1099. doi:10.1007/s00127-018-1597-8

3 Sources

Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Demarinis S.Loneliness at epidemic levels in America.Explore (NY). 2020;16(5):278-279. doi:10.1016/j.explore.2020.06.008Danvers AF, Efinger LD, Mehl MR, et al.Loneliness and time alone in everyday life: a descriptive-exploratory study of subjective and objective social isolation.J Res Pers. 2023;107:104426. doi:10.1016/j.jrp.2023.104426Hyland P, Shevlin M, Cloitre M, et al.Quality not quantity: loneliness subtypes, psychological trauma, and mental health in the US adult population.Soc Psychiatry Psychiatr Epidemiol. 2019;54(9):1089-1099. doi:10.1007/s00127-018-1597-8

Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Demarinis S.Loneliness at epidemic levels in America.Explore (NY). 2020;16(5):278-279. doi:10.1016/j.explore.2020.06.008Danvers AF, Efinger LD, Mehl MR, et al.Loneliness and time alone in everyday life: a descriptive-exploratory study of subjective and objective social isolation.J Res Pers. 2023;107:104426. doi:10.1016/j.jrp.2023.104426Hyland P, Shevlin M, Cloitre M, et al.Quality not quantity: loneliness subtypes, psychological trauma, and mental health in the US adult population.Soc Psychiatry Psychiatr Epidemiol. 2019;54(9):1089-1099. doi:10.1007/s00127-018-1597-8

Demarinis S.Loneliness at epidemic levels in America.Explore (NY). 2020;16(5):278-279. doi:10.1016/j.explore.2020.06.008

Danvers AF, Efinger LD, Mehl MR, et al.Loneliness and time alone in everyday life: a descriptive-exploratory study of subjective and objective social isolation.J Res Pers. 2023;107:104426. doi:10.1016/j.jrp.2023.104426

Hyland P, Shevlin M, Cloitre M, et al.Quality not quantity: loneliness subtypes, psychological trauma, and mental health in the US adult population.Soc Psychiatry Psychiatr Epidemiol. 2019;54(9):1089-1099. doi:10.1007/s00127-018-1597-8

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