Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsHow to Stop Self-Loathing ThoughtsSupporting Someone Else Experiencing Self-LoathingLearning to Love YourselfUnderstanding the Origins of Self-Loathing Thoughts
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
How to Stop Self-Loathing Thoughts
Supporting Someone Else Experiencing Self-Loathing
Learning to Love Yourself
Understanding the Origins of Self-Loathing Thoughts
Self-loathing means you have very strong feelings of dislike for yourself.
Self-loathing is related toself-esteem. Everyone feels a lack of confidence sometimes, but people with healthy self-esteem generally feel good about themselves and value their achievements. People with low self-esteem often feel unsatisfied or unhappy with themselves.
This article will discuss reasons people feel self-loathing, examples of self-loathing communication and behavior, risks of ongoing self-loathing, how to stop self-loathing andintrusive thoughts, how to support someone who is going through self-loathing, and some tips and reminders for going from self-loathing to self-loving.
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Examples of Self-Loathing BehaviorA person with self-loathing may:Be extremely critical of themselvesDownplay or ignore their positive qualitiesFeel they are inferior to their peersDescribe themselves with negative wordsEngage in negative, critical, or self-blaming self-talkTend to blame themselves when things go wrong instead of considering other factors, such as the actions of others or things they have no control overCredit luck instead of themselves for their achievementsNot believe a person who pays them a complimentJoke about themselves in a negative wayThink they don’t deserve to have funFeelinhibited, tense, and insecure in social interactionsAvoid challenges out of fear of failureGet overly upset about criticism or disappointmentFeel sad, ashamed, angry, depressed, anxious, or worthless
Examples of Self-Loathing Behavior
A person with self-loathing may:Be extremely critical of themselvesDownplay or ignore their positive qualitiesFeel they are inferior to their peersDescribe themselves with negative wordsEngage in negative, critical, or self-blaming self-talkTend to blame themselves when things go wrong instead of considering other factors, such as the actions of others or things they have no control overCredit luck instead of themselves for their achievementsNot believe a person who pays them a complimentJoke about themselves in a negative wayThink they don’t deserve to have funFeelinhibited, tense, and insecure in social interactionsAvoid challenges out of fear of failureGet overly upset about criticism or disappointmentFeel sad, ashamed, angry, depressed, anxious, or worthless
A person with self-loathing may:
How to Stop Self-Loathing and Intrusive Thoughts
Some ways toimprove your self-image and self-esteemmay include:
Medications That Could HelpIf you are living with a mental health condition that affects your self-esteem, your healthcare provider or mental health professional may recommend medications such as:Serotonin and noradrenaline reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs): Effexor XR (venlafaxine), Cymbalta (duloxetine), Pristiq (desvenlafaxine), Fetzima (levomilnacipran)Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs): Prozac (fluoxetine), Celexa (citalopram), Lexapro (escitalopram), Luvox (fluvoxamine), Paxil (paroxetine), Zoloft (sertraline)Tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs): Elavil (amitriptyline), Anafranil (clomipramine), Pamelor (nortriptyline), Norpramin (desipramine), Tofranil (imipramine)Monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs): Parnate (tranylcypromine), Nardil (phenelzine), Marplan (isocarboxazid)
Medications That Could Help
If you are living with a mental health condition that affects your self-esteem, your healthcare provider or mental health professional may recommend medications such as:Serotonin and noradrenaline reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs): Effexor XR (venlafaxine), Cymbalta (duloxetine), Pristiq (desvenlafaxine), Fetzima (levomilnacipran)Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs): Prozac (fluoxetine), Celexa (citalopram), Lexapro (escitalopram), Luvox (fluvoxamine), Paxil (paroxetine), Zoloft (sertraline)Tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs): Elavil (amitriptyline), Anafranil (clomipramine), Pamelor (nortriptyline), Norpramin (desipramine), Tofranil (imipramine)Monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs): Parnate (tranylcypromine), Nardil (phenelzine), Marplan (isocarboxazid)
If you are living with a mental health condition that affects your self-esteem, your healthcare provider or mental health professional may recommend medications such as:
Supporting Someone Who Is Feeling Self-Loathing
If you have a friend or loved one who has low self-esteem, some ways you can help include:
From Self-Loathing to Self-Loving: Tips and Reminders
Remember that having low self-esteem does not make you a bad person or unworthy of love. Havecompassion for yourselfand be kind to yourself. It’s OK to not like every single thing about yourself, but try to find the things you do. You can start small with just one or two small things and build from there.
Try writing down the things you like about yourself and the things you are good at, even small things. Include compliments others have given you. Put this list somewhere you can see it and reference it regularly.
Consider if you might benefit from professional counseling, particularly if you:
Risks of Self-Loathing BehavoirSelf-esteem can significantly impact life outcomes, such as occupational success, social relationships, sense of well-being, peer perceptions, and coping skills.Low self-esteem has been associated with:LonelinessRelationship problemsFear or judgementLow resilience (ability to cope with life challenges)Lack ofself-care(or being overly fixated on perfect grooming)Self-harming behaviorsProblems withbody imageEarlier sexual activity in adolescentsMental health conditions such as depressionSubstance useAntisocial behaviorSuicideIf you or someone you know are having suicidal thoughts, dial988to contact the988 Suicide & Crisis Lifelineand connect with a trained counselor, or contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.
Risks of Self-Loathing Behavoir
Self-esteem can significantly impact life outcomes, such as occupational success, social relationships, sense of well-being, peer perceptions, and coping skills.Low self-esteem has been associated with:LonelinessRelationship problemsFear or judgementLow resilience (ability to cope with life challenges)Lack ofself-care(or being overly fixated on perfect grooming)Self-harming behaviorsProblems withbody imageEarlier sexual activity in adolescentsMental health conditions such as depressionSubstance useAntisocial behaviorSuicideIf you or someone you know are having suicidal thoughts, dial988to contact the988 Suicide & Crisis Lifelineand connect with a trained counselor, or contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.
Self-esteem can significantly impact life outcomes, such as occupational success, social relationships, sense of well-being, peer perceptions, and coping skills.
Low self-esteem has been associated with:
If you or someone you know are having suicidal thoughts, dial988to contact the988 Suicide & Crisis Lifelineand connect with a trained counselor, or contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.
Reasons People Feel Self-Loathing
Self-concept refers to a person’s beliefs about their attributes, traits, physical characteristics, social roles, past experiences, and future goals.
Self-disgust may develop from interactions between:
For example, a child picked on at school may internalize insults, taking them on as part of their negative self-talk.
Low self-esteem can stem from many causes. Some may include:
Many factors can influence negative feelings toward yourself, including:
Some research suggests that social networking sites, such as Facebook or Instagram, can foster upward social comparisons that decrease self-esteem and psychological well-being for certain people.
Summary
Self-loathing means having strong feelings of dislike toward yourself and is related to self-esteem.
Practices that allow you to focus on the positive, such as affirmations, engaging in positive self-talk, and accepting compliments, can help raise self-esteem and eliminate self-loathing.
Professional help such as counseling may be helpful, mainly if you live with a mental health disorder.
12 SourcesVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cambridge Dictionary.Self-loathing.Better Health.Self-esteem.Healthdirect.Self-esteem and mental health.Ypsilanti A.Lonely but avoidant—the unfortunate juxtaposition of loneliness and self-disgust.Palgrave Commun. 2018;4(1):144. doi:10.1057/s41599-018-0198-1Mental Health America.I hate myself.University of Michigan.Helping someone with self-esteem.National Health Service.Raising low self-esteem.University of Toronto.Low self-esteem.Nguyen DT, Wright EP, Dedding C, et al.Low self-esteem and its association with anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation in Vietnamese secondary school students: a cross-sectional study.Front Psychiatry. 2019;10:698. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00698Turnell AI, Fassnacht DB, Batterham PJ, et al.The Self-Hate Scale: Development and validation of a brief measure and its relationship to suicidal ideation.Journal of Affective Disorders. 2019;245:779-787. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2018.11.047Child Mind Institute.How to help kids who are too hard on themselves.Wang JL, Wang HZ, Gaskin J, Hawk S.The mediating roles of upward social comparison and self-esteem and the moderating role of social comparison orientation in the association between social networking site usage and subjective well-being.Front Psychol. 2017;8:771. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00771
12 Sources
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cambridge Dictionary.Self-loathing.Better Health.Self-esteem.Healthdirect.Self-esteem and mental health.Ypsilanti A.Lonely but avoidant—the unfortunate juxtaposition of loneliness and self-disgust.Palgrave Commun. 2018;4(1):144. doi:10.1057/s41599-018-0198-1Mental Health America.I hate myself.University of Michigan.Helping someone with self-esteem.National Health Service.Raising low self-esteem.University of Toronto.Low self-esteem.Nguyen DT, Wright EP, Dedding C, et al.Low self-esteem and its association with anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation in Vietnamese secondary school students: a cross-sectional study.Front Psychiatry. 2019;10:698. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00698Turnell AI, Fassnacht DB, Batterham PJ, et al.The Self-Hate Scale: Development and validation of a brief measure and its relationship to suicidal ideation.Journal of Affective Disorders. 2019;245:779-787. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2018.11.047Child Mind Institute.How to help kids who are too hard on themselves.Wang JL, Wang HZ, Gaskin J, Hawk S.The mediating roles of upward social comparison and self-esteem and the moderating role of social comparison orientation in the association between social networking site usage and subjective well-being.Front Psychol. 2017;8:771. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00771
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Cambridge Dictionary.Self-loathing.Better Health.Self-esteem.Healthdirect.Self-esteem and mental health.Ypsilanti A.Lonely but avoidant—the unfortunate juxtaposition of loneliness and self-disgust.Palgrave Commun. 2018;4(1):144. doi:10.1057/s41599-018-0198-1Mental Health America.I hate myself.University of Michigan.Helping someone with self-esteem.National Health Service.Raising low self-esteem.University of Toronto.Low self-esteem.Nguyen DT, Wright EP, Dedding C, et al.Low self-esteem and its association with anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation in Vietnamese secondary school students: a cross-sectional study.Front Psychiatry. 2019;10:698. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00698Turnell AI, Fassnacht DB, Batterham PJ, et al.The Self-Hate Scale: Development and validation of a brief measure and its relationship to suicidal ideation.Journal of Affective Disorders. 2019;245:779-787. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2018.11.047Child Mind Institute.How to help kids who are too hard on themselves.Wang JL, Wang HZ, Gaskin J, Hawk S.The mediating roles of upward social comparison and self-esteem and the moderating role of social comparison orientation in the association between social networking site usage and subjective well-being.Front Psychol. 2017;8:771. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00771
Cambridge Dictionary.Self-loathing.
Better Health.Self-esteem.
Healthdirect.Self-esteem and mental health.
Ypsilanti A.Lonely but avoidant—the unfortunate juxtaposition of loneliness and self-disgust.Palgrave Commun. 2018;4(1):144. doi:10.1057/s41599-018-0198-1
Mental Health America.I hate myself.
University of Michigan.Helping someone with self-esteem.
National Health Service.Raising low self-esteem.
University of Toronto.Low self-esteem.
Nguyen DT, Wright EP, Dedding C, et al.Low self-esteem and its association with anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation in Vietnamese secondary school students: a cross-sectional study.Front Psychiatry. 2019;10:698. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00698
Turnell AI, Fassnacht DB, Batterham PJ, et al.The Self-Hate Scale: Development and validation of a brief measure and its relationship to suicidal ideation.Journal of Affective Disorders. 2019;245:779-787. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2018.11.047
Child Mind Institute.How to help kids who are too hard on themselves.
Wang JL, Wang HZ, Gaskin J, Hawk S.The mediating roles of upward social comparison and self-esteem and the moderating role of social comparison orientation in the association between social networking site usage and subjective well-being.Front Psychol. 2017;8:771. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00771
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