Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsDefinitionExamplesWhy It HappensProcessing the AbuseResources
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
Definition
Examples
Why It Happens
Processing the Abuse
Resources
Stockholm syndrome in relationships is a coping mechanism in which the victim of abuse develops positive feelings toward the abuser. It can be seen as a form of trauma bonding.
Signs of this dynamic include self-blame when mistreated; sympathy and other positive feelings toward a captor or abuser; feeling negatively toward police, rescuers, or people trying to help; and feelinganxiousor on edge.
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What Stockholm Syndrome Means
Stockholm syndrome happens when a person becomesemotionally attachedor loyal to the person holding them captive or abusing them.
The name derives from an incident in 1973. After a bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden, a woman became so bonded to her captor that she ended her marriage engagement and was loyal to the captor while he was in prison.
Stockholm syndrome was initially used to describe relationships when hostages become emotionally attached to their captor as a coping mechanism to get through life-threatening situations. The definition has since expanded to include the relationships between abused people and those whoabusethem.
Stockholm syndrome is a form oftrauma bonding. In trauma bonding, the abuser uses rewards and punishments within thecycles of abuseto maintain an emotional attachment to the abused person. It is more likely to occur when there is a perceived threat to a person’s physical and psychological survival.
To cope with this internal conflict, people with Stockholm syndrome and other forms of trauma create their own version of their experience that can be more sympathetic to the person holding them captive or abusing them. This is a phenomenon known ascognitive dissonance.
Cognitive dissonance happens when a person behaves in a way that goes against their core beliefs. For example, they know smoking is bad for their health, but do it anyway. This leads to conflicted thoughts and feelings that can motivate changes in beliefs or behaviors.
Signs of Stockholm SyndromeIt may be difficult for someone with Stockholm syndrome to recognize the signs in themselves while being held hostage or in an abusive relationship. Signs that may indicate others are in an abusive situation include:They show empathy and concern toward the abuser.They feel sorry for or defend the abuser.They feel loyalty toward the abuser.They show fear when around anyone outside of the relationship (e.g., family, friends, police, etc.).They don’t believe they can leave the relationship.
Signs of Stockholm Syndrome
It may be difficult for someone with Stockholm syndrome to recognize the signs in themselves while being held hostage or in an abusive relationship. Signs that may indicate others are in an abusive situation include:They show empathy and concern toward the abuser.They feel sorry for or defend the abuser.They feel loyalty toward the abuser.They show fear when around anyone outside of the relationship (e.g., family, friends, police, etc.).They don’t believe they can leave the relationship.
It may be difficult for someone with Stockholm syndrome to recognize the signs in themselves while being held hostage or in an abusive relationship. Signs that may indicate others are in an abusive situation include:
Examples of Stockholm Syndrome Dynamics
Beyond the relationship between a captor and a hostage, Stockholm syndrome can happen in any relationship that involves abuse. There is a link between Stockholm syndrome and violence against women.
About one-third of women have experienced violence from an intimate partner, and over two-thirds of those women have left and returned to that partner at least once. Women who are sensitive to their partners’ feelings and needs are more likely to return than those who are not.
Understanding Why Stockholm Syndrome Develops
Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response to cope with stressful situations or danger.
When people experience trauma and abuse, thesympathetic nervous system(part of the body responsible for the stress response) responds to possible dangers. These are the typical fight-or-flight responses.
Freeze is another typical response to a threat. It’s a defense mechanism that occurs when theparasympathetic nervous systemdominates. When faced with a dangerous situation, you find yourself temporarily unable to move.
Fawning is a type of codependent behavior used to prevent retaliation and harm in abusive situations. The victim becomes overly helpful to the abuser. As a survival mechanism, it may help the victim reduce fear and claim some power in an otherwise powerless situation.
A person experiencing Stockholm syndrome speaks or acts in a way that helps neutralize the intenseemotionsand behaviors of someone abusing or holding them captive. This can de-escalate the situation and stop or prevent abuse from continuing.
In many cases, the abuser has mental health issues. These includeantisocial,narcissistic, andborderline personality disorders.
The people on the receiving end can become increasingly tolerant of theabusive behavior. If they are in denial about their own unhappiness, they may never see a reason to leave the relationship.
Domestic Abuse HotlineIf you or someone you know is experiencing abuse from an intimate partner, you can call theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat800-799-SAFE(7233) for assistance. If the situation is an emergency and you are in immediate danger, call 911.
Domestic Abuse Hotline
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse from an intimate partner, you can call theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat800-799-SAFE(7233) for assistance. If the situation is an emergency and you are in immediate danger, call 911.
How to Process Stockholm Syndrome Abuse
Stockholm syndrome is a trauma response. Loyalty and affection for captors or abusers may feel genuine to the person being abused, while the captor or abuser may not have positive feelings for the person being held hostage or abused.
Seek the support of a healthcare provider, such as a therapist orpsychologist, if you are in or have recently left an abusive or hostage situation. Evidence-based therapeutic treatments are the best first line of treatment.
Effective therapeutic treatments include:
Other ways of processing may include:
You may have to try different strategies to find the most effective way to cope while adjusting to life after experiencingrelationship trauma.
Mental Health Support and Resources
Many health and support resources are available to people who are experiencing or have experienced a hostage situation or abuse. Depending on the situation, the first step may be contactingemergency responseservices, such as a local police department, ordialing 911.
Available resources for mental health support, abuse, and Stockholm syndrome recovery include the following:
Summary
Stockholm syndrome happens when the sympathetic nervous system is activated in response to a hostage situation, abuse, or other relationship stressor.
A person being held captive or abused may feel positive feelings toward the captor or abuser, form an attachment, and be loyal to them as a coping mechanism to a life-threatening situation. This defense is similar to fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses.
If you or someone you know is experiencing Stockholm syndrome, help is available. Call a domestic violence hotline, seek out shelters, or see a healthcare provider for additional resources and support.
12 SourcesVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.American Psychological Association.Stockholm syndrome.Bailey R, Dugard J, Smith SF, Porges SW.Appeasement: replacing Stockholm syndrome as a definition of a survival strategy.Eur J Psychotraumatol. 2023;14(1):2161038. doi:10.1080/20008066.2022.2161038Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons.Trauma bonding in human trafficking.Goodfriend W, Arriaga XB.Cognitive reframing of intimate partner aggression: social and contextual influences.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2018;15(11):2464. doi:10.3390/ijerph15112464Singh S.Stockholm syndrome: a psychiatric diagnosis or just a myth?IJTSRD. 2022;6(2):354-361.Rahme C, Haddad C, Akel M, et al.Does Stockholm syndrome exist in Lebanon? Results of a cross-sectional study considering the factors associated with violence against women in a Lebanese representative sample.J Interpers Violence. 2021;36(23-24):11509-11531. doi:10.1177/0886260519897337Lahav Y.Hyper-sensitivity to the perpetrator and the likelihood of returning to abusive relationships.J Interpers Violence. 2023;38(1-2):1815-1841. doi:10.1177/08862605221092075American Psychological Association.Stress effects on the body.Roelofs K.Freeze for action: neurobiological mechanisms in animal and human freezing.Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci. 2017;372(1718):20160206. doi:10.1098/rstb.2016.0206Schlote S.History of the term ‘appeasement’: a response to Bailey et al. (2023).Eur J Psychotraumatol. 2023;14(2):2183005. doi:10.1080/20008066.2023.2183005Watkins LE, Sprang KR, Rothbaum BO.Treating PTSD: a review of evidence-based psychotherapy interventions.Front Behav Neurosci. 2018;12:400414. doi:10.3389/fnbeh.2018.00258American Psychological Association.Adjusting to life after being held hostage or kidnapped.
12 Sources
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.American Psychological Association.Stockholm syndrome.Bailey R, Dugard J, Smith SF, Porges SW.Appeasement: replacing Stockholm syndrome as a definition of a survival strategy.Eur J Psychotraumatol. 2023;14(1):2161038. doi:10.1080/20008066.2022.2161038Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons.Trauma bonding in human trafficking.Goodfriend W, Arriaga XB.Cognitive reframing of intimate partner aggression: social and contextual influences.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2018;15(11):2464. doi:10.3390/ijerph15112464Singh S.Stockholm syndrome: a psychiatric diagnosis or just a myth?IJTSRD. 2022;6(2):354-361.Rahme C, Haddad C, Akel M, et al.Does Stockholm syndrome exist in Lebanon? Results of a cross-sectional study considering the factors associated with violence against women in a Lebanese representative sample.J Interpers Violence. 2021;36(23-24):11509-11531. doi:10.1177/0886260519897337Lahav Y.Hyper-sensitivity to the perpetrator and the likelihood of returning to abusive relationships.J Interpers Violence. 2023;38(1-2):1815-1841. doi:10.1177/08862605221092075American Psychological Association.Stress effects on the body.Roelofs K.Freeze for action: neurobiological mechanisms in animal and human freezing.Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci. 2017;372(1718):20160206. doi:10.1098/rstb.2016.0206Schlote S.History of the term ‘appeasement’: a response to Bailey et al. (2023).Eur J Psychotraumatol. 2023;14(2):2183005. doi:10.1080/20008066.2023.2183005Watkins LE, Sprang KR, Rothbaum BO.Treating PTSD: a review of evidence-based psychotherapy interventions.Front Behav Neurosci. 2018;12:400414. doi:10.3389/fnbeh.2018.00258American Psychological Association.Adjusting to life after being held hostage or kidnapped.
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
American Psychological Association.Stockholm syndrome.Bailey R, Dugard J, Smith SF, Porges SW.Appeasement: replacing Stockholm syndrome as a definition of a survival strategy.Eur J Psychotraumatol. 2023;14(1):2161038. doi:10.1080/20008066.2022.2161038Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons.Trauma bonding in human trafficking.Goodfriend W, Arriaga XB.Cognitive reframing of intimate partner aggression: social and contextual influences.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2018;15(11):2464. doi:10.3390/ijerph15112464Singh S.Stockholm syndrome: a psychiatric diagnosis or just a myth?IJTSRD. 2022;6(2):354-361.Rahme C, Haddad C, Akel M, et al.Does Stockholm syndrome exist in Lebanon? Results of a cross-sectional study considering the factors associated with violence against women in a Lebanese representative sample.J Interpers Violence. 2021;36(23-24):11509-11531. doi:10.1177/0886260519897337Lahav Y.Hyper-sensitivity to the perpetrator and the likelihood of returning to abusive relationships.J Interpers Violence. 2023;38(1-2):1815-1841. doi:10.1177/08862605221092075American Psychological Association.Stress effects on the body.Roelofs K.Freeze for action: neurobiological mechanisms in animal and human freezing.Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci. 2017;372(1718):20160206. doi:10.1098/rstb.2016.0206Schlote S.History of the term ‘appeasement’: a response to Bailey et al. (2023).Eur J Psychotraumatol. 2023;14(2):2183005. doi:10.1080/20008066.2023.2183005Watkins LE, Sprang KR, Rothbaum BO.Treating PTSD: a review of evidence-based psychotherapy interventions.Front Behav Neurosci. 2018;12:400414. doi:10.3389/fnbeh.2018.00258American Psychological Association.Adjusting to life after being held hostage or kidnapped.
American Psychological Association.Stockholm syndrome.
Bailey R, Dugard J, Smith SF, Porges SW.Appeasement: replacing Stockholm syndrome as a definition of a survival strategy.Eur J Psychotraumatol. 2023;14(1):2161038. doi:10.1080/20008066.2022.2161038
Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons.Trauma bonding in human trafficking.
Goodfriend W, Arriaga XB.Cognitive reframing of intimate partner aggression: social and contextual influences.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2018;15(11):2464. doi:10.3390/ijerph15112464
Singh S.Stockholm syndrome: a psychiatric diagnosis or just a myth?IJTSRD. 2022;6(2):354-361.
Rahme C, Haddad C, Akel M, et al.Does Stockholm syndrome exist in Lebanon? Results of a cross-sectional study considering the factors associated with violence against women in a Lebanese representative sample.J Interpers Violence. 2021;36(23-24):11509-11531. doi:10.1177/0886260519897337
Lahav Y.Hyper-sensitivity to the perpetrator and the likelihood of returning to abusive relationships.J Interpers Violence. 2023;38(1-2):1815-1841. doi:10.1177/08862605221092075
American Psychological Association.Stress effects on the body.
Roelofs K.Freeze for action: neurobiological mechanisms in animal and human freezing.Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci. 2017;372(1718):20160206. doi:10.1098/rstb.2016.0206
Schlote S.History of the term ‘appeasement’: a response to Bailey et al. (2023).Eur J Psychotraumatol. 2023;14(2):2183005. doi:10.1080/20008066.2023.2183005
Watkins LE, Sprang KR, Rothbaum BO.Treating PTSD: a review of evidence-based psychotherapy interventions.Front Behav Neurosci. 2018;12:400414. doi:10.3389/fnbeh.2018.00258
American Psychological Association.Adjusting to life after being held hostage or kidnapped.
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