Communicating with someone who is living withAlzheimer’s diseaseor another dementia can sometimes be a challenge. That’s because one of the hallmarksymptoms of dementia, along withmemory loss, is difficulty expressing ideas (such as inword-finding problems) or in understanding them (often called receptive communication).
Here are a few tips for success when talking with someone who is living with dementia.
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Don’t Infantilize the Person
Don’t talk down to the person or treat them like an infant. This is sometimes called “elderspeak” and it’s got to go.
Learn what the person’s preferred name is and use it. Be careful with using “honey,” “sweetheart” or similar terms. You may mean it genuinely in affection, but it can also come across as demeaning or patronizing.
Use Gentle Touch
While some people might get defensive if you break their bubble of personal space around them, many appreciate a gentle touch. Knowing how someone responds to physical touch is important. You might want to give a little pat on the shoulders or hold her hand as you talk with them. Personal touch is important and can be an effective way to communicate that you care.
Don’t Just Talk Loudly
Not every person with dementia has a hearing impairment, and using a loud tone can make them feel like you are yelling at them. Use a clear, normal tone of voice to start a conversation with someone.
If the person doesn’t respond or you become aware thatthey have a hearing problem, you can increase your volume. Speaking in a slightly lower register can also help if someone has a hearing problem.
Don’t Use Slang or Figures of Speech
As dementiaprogresses, it can become harder for someone to understand what you’re trying to tell them. For example, telling a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease that it’s “no use crying over spilled milk” might result in him looking to see where the milk has spilled, rather than end up comforting him or encouraging him not to focus on a past problem.
In fact, the proverb interpretation test, which asks the test taker to interpret abstract ideas such as the spilled milk reference above, is one way to screen for symptoms of dementia.
Don’t Ignore the Person
Position Yourself at Their Level
Rather than standing up straight and looking down to someone who may be seated, bend down to be at the same level as they are. This might make you less comfortable physically, but it will facilitate a more comfortable and respectful conversation.
Avoid Interrogating
Limit your questions to just a few. Your goal is to encourage and provide encouragement during your visit, not to fire endless questions at them that may be difficult to answer.
Smile and Make Eye Contact
A Word From Verywell
Infusing your communication with respect and genuine warmth will increase the odds of success, whether the person to whom you’re speaking has dementia or not. For their sake, avoidpet peeveswhen spending time with someone who is living with Alzheimer’s.
Frequently Asked Questions
Nonverbal communication is essential when speaking to someone with dementia. Before speaking, allow the person to see your face to know who is talking. Keep your face and body language relaxed and positive. Do not interrupt a person with dementia or try to finish their sentences. Be patient and calm. Speak slowly and clearly, but do not raise your voice or talk down to someone.
When talking to someone with dementia, do not remind them they have memory problems. If they forget something you told them, pretend that you forgot to mention it earlier and apologize.
Do not try to reason with someone with dementia and avoid arguing. Do not confront them about memory issues. Avoid asking many questions, such as about recent events or if they remember your name.
Most importantly, do not take it personally if they do not remember something or become frustrated.
2 SourcesVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Murphy P, Shallice T, Robinson G, et al.Impairments in proverb interpretation following focal frontal lobe lesions.Neuropsychologia. 2013;51(11):2075-2086. doi:10.1016/j.neuropsychologia.2013.06.029Pönkänen L, Hietanen J.Eye contact with neutral and smiling faces: effects on autonomic responses and frontal EEG asymmetry.Front Hum Neurosci. 2012;6. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2012.00122Additional ReadingAlzheimer’s Association.Communication and Alzheimer’s.Alzheimer’s Society.How to communicate with a person with dementia.
2 Sources
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Murphy P, Shallice T, Robinson G, et al.Impairments in proverb interpretation following focal frontal lobe lesions.Neuropsychologia. 2013;51(11):2075-2086. doi:10.1016/j.neuropsychologia.2013.06.029Pönkänen L, Hietanen J.Eye contact with neutral and smiling faces: effects on autonomic responses and frontal EEG asymmetry.Front Hum Neurosci. 2012;6. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2012.00122Additional ReadingAlzheimer’s Association.Communication and Alzheimer’s.Alzheimer’s Society.How to communicate with a person with dementia.
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Murphy P, Shallice T, Robinson G, et al.Impairments in proverb interpretation following focal frontal lobe lesions.Neuropsychologia. 2013;51(11):2075-2086. doi:10.1016/j.neuropsychologia.2013.06.029Pönkänen L, Hietanen J.Eye contact with neutral and smiling faces: effects on autonomic responses and frontal EEG asymmetry.Front Hum Neurosci. 2012;6. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2012.00122
Murphy P, Shallice T, Robinson G, et al.Impairments in proverb interpretation following focal frontal lobe lesions.Neuropsychologia. 2013;51(11):2075-2086. doi:10.1016/j.neuropsychologia.2013.06.029
Pönkänen L, Hietanen J.Eye contact with neutral and smiling faces: effects on autonomic responses and frontal EEG asymmetry.Front Hum Neurosci. 2012;6. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2012.00122
Alzheimer’s Association.Communication and Alzheimer’s.Alzheimer’s Society.How to communicate with a person with dementia.
Alzheimer’s Association.Communication and Alzheimer’s.
Alzheimer’s Society.How to communicate with a person with dementia.
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