Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsLong-Term EffectsSteps to RecoveryGetting Professional HelpFrequently Asked Questions
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
Long-Term Effects
Steps to Recovery
Getting Professional Help
Frequently Asked Questions
Narcissistic abuse is a type ofemotional abusethat involves manipulation to alter or damage the way a person thinks, behaves, or feels. Those who conduct this type of abuse in their relationships often havenarcissistic personality disorderorsociopathictendencies.
There are severalsigns that indicate you may be suffering from narcissistic abuse. For example, in the early stages of a romantic relationship, a narcissistic partner may act perfect, but then patterns begin to change and manipulation tactics begin.
Other signs include feeling confused, upset, or guilty about incidents that were not your fault but for which you are made to feel responsible. Narcissistic abuse may also involve public humiliation that is disguised as a joke.
While narcissistic abuse is damaging, recovery from it is possible. Read on to find out more about narcissistic abuse and how you can recover from it.
Verywell / Michela Buttignol
Narcissism and Sociopathy
Being the victim of narcissistic abuse can lead to long-term effects that are difficult to cope with. While some of those effects are mild, others can be so severe that they are fatal. Some of the long-term effects of narcissistic abuse are:
How Can Narcissistic Abuse Be Fatal?While the abuse itself isn’t directly causing death, the long-term effects can lead to various potential life-threatening behaviors such as substance use disorder. People who have endured narcissistic abuse also have an increased risk for suicide due to depression and anxiety.
How Can Narcissistic Abuse Be Fatal?
While the abuse itself isn’t directly causing death, the long-term effects can lead to various potential life-threatening behaviors such as substance use disorder. People who have endured narcissistic abuse also have an increased risk for suicide due to depression and anxiety.
New Law Establishes 988 As National Suicide Hotline
Dealing with narcissistic abuse for any amount of time can negatively impact a person’s entire life. Many people lose friends, family members, or even jobs during their time with their abuser.
While recovering from narcissistic abuse can be a lengthy and complex process, it is not impossible.The following steps outline efforts you can take to help overcome the effects of narcissistic abuse while you embark on your recovery journey.
Acknowledge the Abuse
During the relationship, you may have had to rationalize the behavior for so long that accepting that it wasn’t rational or excusable can be difficult.
It is also often easier to take the blame for a situation than it is to accept that someone you deeply cared for ended up hurting you in such a horrible way. However, denying that it happened takes away your opportunity to address it.
Children and Narcissistic Abuse
Set Boundaries From Your Abuser
When No-Contact Isn’t Possible
Process Your Emotions
Any type of breakup or ending of a relationship will come with difficult emotions such as sadness, anger, and grief. In the case of a relationship ending with a narcissistic abuser, you may also feel shame, suspicion, fear, anxiety, or symptoms of PTSD.
Because you will be dealing with a lot of complex feelings, you will have to work through them in a healthy way. Seeing a therapist can help you work through your emotions in a safe and neutral environment.
Painful Emotions Have a PurposeWhile feeling pain or hurt due to abuse is unpleasant, experiencing those emotions is necessary. The purpose is to allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling without judgment so that you can process each emotion and let it pass.
Painful Emotions Have a Purpose
While feeling pain or hurt due to abuse is unpleasant, experiencing those emotions is necessary. The purpose is to allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling without judgment so that you can process each emotion and let it pass.
Focus on Yourself
According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, self-care can significantly improve your views of yourself and help you recover from the abuse. Self-care practices can include:
Shifting Your FocusAfter having focused for so long on someone else, shifting gears to put your feelings and needs first can be difficult. If you find it hard to keep your attention on your healing, remember to take it easy on yourself. These things take time. Change doesn’t happen overnight.
Shifting Your Focus
After having focused for so long on someone else, shifting gears to put your feelings and needs first can be difficult. If you find it hard to keep your attention on your healing, remember to take it easy on yourself. These things take time. Change doesn’t happen overnight.
Practicing Self-Care Helped People Sleep Better Early on in the Pandemic
Professional help is an optimal step to take when recovering from narcissistic abuse because the trauma and long-term effects are hard to shake on your own. A trained mental health professional will be able to validate your emotions, help you process complex and negative feelings, and guide you toward appropriate forms of therapy.
Some types of therapy that may help you recover from the abuse include:
Types of Mental Health Therapy
Summary
Narcissistic abuse can be highly damaging, and someone who constantly is subjected to it may experience long-term effects. The abuse itself is a strategy that involves manipulation tactics that help the abuser gain control over the person being abused.
Narcissistic abuse can be so subtle that it is difficult to notice when it’s happening to you. That is why many people stay connected to their abusers for so long. Once you do realize what is happening, the damage often is already done.
When you remove yourself from the situation, you may have developed some negative behaviors such as people-pleasing but it’s important that you go easy on yourself. You are not to blame for any abuse that was done to you and you can heal from the pain that was caused.
A Word From VerywellNarcissistic abuse can shatter a person’s self-confidence, distort their reality, and undermine their other relationships. Recovery means rebuilding your self-worth and reclaiming trust in your own voice.—ELLE MARKMAN, PSYD, MEDICAL EXPERT BOARD
A Word From Verywell
Narcissistic abuse can shatter a person’s self-confidence, distort their reality, and undermine their other relationships. Recovery means rebuilding your self-worth and reclaiming trust in your own voice.—ELLE MARKMAN, PSYD, MEDICAL EXPERT BOARD
Narcissistic abuse can shatter a person’s self-confidence, distort their reality, and undermine their other relationships. Recovery means rebuilding your self-worth and reclaiming trust in your own voice.
—ELLE MARKMAN, PSYD, MEDICAL EXPERT BOARD
Frequently Asked QuestionsThere are many long-term effects of narcissistic abuse, both physical and psychological. Some examples of long-term effects include mood and anxiety disorders, physical ailments such as headaches, stomachaches, or body aches, the inability to get a good night’s sleep or having nightmares, and a lowered sense of self-worth.It can take years to fully recover from the damage that was done because of the psychological manipulation that you have endured. That being said, moving past the abuse and achieving full recovery is entirely possible with professional help.Symptoms of post-traumatic stress can be common after narcissistic abuse, especially in children who experience this type of abuse from their parents.Traumatic events, like the psychological effects a person deals with in an abusive relationship, lead to an overactive fight-or-flight response. This response, which is designed to act as an alert system, gets activated anytime a memory of the relationship or aspects of the relationship arise. Because of this, people feel on edge and as if there is something to be scared of around every corner.
There are many long-term effects of narcissistic abuse, both physical and psychological. Some examples of long-term effects include mood and anxiety disorders, physical ailments such as headaches, stomachaches, or body aches, the inability to get a good night’s sleep or having nightmares, and a lowered sense of self-worth.
It can take years to fully recover from the damage that was done because of the psychological manipulation that you have endured. That being said, moving past the abuse and achieving full recovery is entirely possible with professional help.
Symptoms of post-traumatic stress can be common after narcissistic abuse, especially in children who experience this type of abuse from their parents.Traumatic events, like the psychological effects a person deals with in an abusive relationship, lead to an overactive fight-or-flight response. This response, which is designed to act as an alert system, gets activated anytime a memory of the relationship or aspects of the relationship arise. Because of this, people feel on edge and as if there is something to be scared of around every corner.
Symptoms of post-traumatic stress can be common after narcissistic abuse, especially in children who experience this type of abuse from their parents.
Traumatic events, like the psychological effects a person deals with in an abusive relationship, lead to an overactive fight-or-flight response. This response, which is designed to act as an alert system, gets activated anytime a memory of the relationship or aspects of the relationship arise. Because of this, people feel on edge and as if there is something to be scared of around every corner.
7 Sources
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
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Howard V.Recognising Narcissistic Abuse and the Implications for Mental Health Nursing Practice.Issues Ment Health Nurs.2019 Aug;40(8):644-654. doi:10.1080/01612840.2019.1590485
Wolford-Clevenger C, Grigorian H, Brem MJ, Florimbio AR, Elmquist J, Stuart GL.Associations of Emotional Abuse Types with Suicide Ideation among Dating Couples.J Aggress Maltreat Trauma.2017;26(9):1042-1054. doi:10.1080/10926771.2017.1335821
National Domestic Violence Hotline.5 Powerful Self-Care Tips for Abuse and Trauma Survivors.
Hameed M, O’Doherty L, Gilchrist G, Tirado-Muñoz J, Taft A, Chondros P, Feder G, Tan M, Hegarty K.Psychological therapies for women who experience intimate partner violence.Cochrane Database Syst Rev.2020 Jul 1;7(7):CD013017. doi:10.1002/14651858.CD013017.pub2
Jabeen F, Gerritsen C, Treur J.Healing the next generation: an adaptive agent model for the effects of parental narcissism.Brain Inform.2021 Mar 2;8(1):4. doi:10.1186/s40708-020-00115-z
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