Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhat Is Codependency?EnablersCodependent vs. DependentSigns of CodependencyDependent Personality DisorderHow to Tell If You’re CodependentCausesTreatmentCopingFrequently Asked Questions
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
What Is Codependency?
Enablers
Codependent vs. Dependent
Signs of Codependency
Dependent Personality Disorder
How to Tell If You’re Codependent
Causes
Treatment
Coping
Frequently Asked Questions
Codependency is an emotional and behavioral condition that makes it hard for a person to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship.
Being codependent is sometimes called “relationship addiction.” People who are codependent have one-sided, emotionally destructive, and dysfunctional relationships.
This article will go over what codependency means. You will also learn the signs of codependency, how it can be treated, and how you can help a loved one who is codependent.
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What Does It Mean to Be Enmeshed With Someone?
The term codependency was originally used to describe partners of people withsubstance use disorder, but it now includes other relationship dynamics as well.
There is not a lot of research on how many people are in codependent relationships, but older studies have suggested that codependency is common.
Is Codependency a Mental Health Diagnosis?Codependency is not recognized as a unique mental health disorder in The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5).However, some mental health professionals argue that codependency should be considered an official condition.
Is Codependency a Mental Health Diagnosis?
Codependency is not recognized as a unique mental health disorder in The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5).However, some mental health professionals argue that codependency should be considered an official condition.
Even though it’s not in the DSM-5 as its own disorder, that does not mean that codependency is not “real.” In fact, codependency can have a major, negative effect on a person’s life.
A codependent person puts their own needs aside and is hyper-vigilant about meeting the needs of another person—often to the point that their life revolves around that person. This creates a one-sided relationship that is destructive and dysfunctional for both people.
Can Interventions Help Loved Ones With Addiction?
Codependent Enablers
A codependent person is also known as an “enabler” because they allow their partner to keep engaging in unhealthy behaviors.
When someone is enabling, they are not always doing it on purpose. They may not be aware that they’re doing it or realize that the dynamic in the relationship is not healthy.
An enabler often thinks they’re doing the right thing when they try to avoid upsetting their partner. However, the opposite is true—their actions allow the cycle of codependency to keep going and possibly even get worse.
The word “enabler” is also used to talk about a person who is in a relationship with a person who misuses substances. The enabler’s action (or inaction) makes it possible for a person to continue with their addiction instead of addressing it and getting help.
Over time, the enabling partner in a codependent relationship may become frustrated, angry, and even resentful.
What Is Love Bombing?
Codependent vs. Interdependent Relationships
Being codependent means having an unhealthy attachment to a specific person. It’s often a romantic partner, but not always. Codependency can also occur in friendships, between family members, between a boss and an employee, and among coworkers.
Any relationship where one partner is dysfunctionally dependent on the other person can be considered a codependent relationship.
A healthy dependent relationship is also known as interdependent. All relationships require some dependence. However, a codependent relationship is not the same as an interdependent relationship because:
Comparing Different Personality Disorders
Codependence symptoms are on a spectrum of intensity, not an “all-or-nothing” scale.That said, the characteristics and behaviors of people who are codependent fall into patterns.
Denial Patterns
A codependent person may:
What Is Trauma Bonding?
Low Self-Esteem Patterns
A person who is codependent may:
Compliance Patterns
A person with codependency may:
What It’s Like to Live With Borderline Personality Disorders
Control Patterns
Avoidance Patterns
People with codependency may:
How Attachment Styles Can Affect Your Relationships
Codependence vs. Dependent Personality Disorder
The symptoms of codependency can overlap with other mental health conditions, especially dependent personality disorder. They sound similar, but they have key differences.
Codependency is a dependence on a specific person, but dependent personality disorder describes dependent traits toward other people in general.
Dependent personality disorder is included in the DSM-5 and is considered an official mental health condition. Codependency is not in the DSM-5 as its own disorder.
Key Differences
Codependency and dependent personality disorder have two key differences:
How Can You Tell If You’re Codependent?
Online questionnaires often claim to show if you have any “red flags” for codependence. These questionnaires are usually based on the symptoms listed above.
If you think you are codependent, make an appointment with your healthcare provider or with a mental health professional like a counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist.
What Is Dependent Personality Disorder?
What Causes Codepenency?
Codependence is thought to develop when a child grows up in a dysfunctional family environment where fear, anger, and shame go unacknowledged. The dynamic leads family members to withhold from expressing (repressing) their emotions and ignore their own needs.
Factors that may contribute to codependency include:
Substance Use Disorder and Codependence
Substance use disorder and codependence are often linked in a relationship and it can make recovery from either much more difficult.
A person who is codependent may have a hard time recovering themselves because they have the need to help the person with substance use disorder. They also cannot set healthy boundaries or give support to the person who has a substance use disorder.
Living With Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD)
Can Codependency Be Treated?
Medications are not generally used to treat codependency unless a person is being treated for another mental health condition as well.
The treatment for codependence involves the person taking steps to work through their behaviors and feelings in a way that is safe and productive. For example:
Borderline Personality in Relationships
Therapy for Codependency
Therapy for codependency focuses on a person’s current relationship, their past relationships, and any childhood trauma that might have led them to develop certain behaviors or ways of thinking.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be useful for people with codependency because it teaches them to recognize and change unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors.
Co-Dependents Anonymous
Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA)is a recovery group where people who are codependent can be there for each other, work through their treatment together, and get access to programs and resources to support their recovery.
Like Alcoholics Anonymous, CoDA has 12 steps, 12 traditions, 12 promises, and 12 service concepts.
What Is Split Personality Disorder?
Coping with Codependency
If you’re feeling ready, you can take steps right now to start working through codependency. Things you can do on your own include:
Can Mentalization Help With Borderline Personality Disorder?
Changing Codepedent Relationships
Working through treatment for codependency means changing the unhealthy relationship. In some cases, it might mean leaving the relationship. This extends to all codependent relationships, not just romantic partnerships.
Here are a few things to consider as you’re working through your codependency:
If You Need HelpIf you or a loved one are experiencing domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.For more mental health resources, see Verywell’sNational Helpline Database.
If You Need Help
If you or a loved one are experiencing domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.For more mental health resources, see Verywell’sNational Helpline Database.
If you or a loved one are experiencing domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.
For more mental health resources, see Verywell’sNational Helpline Database.
Summary
Codependency is not recognized as a mental health condition in the DSM-5, but being codependent in relationships can negatively affect a person’s life. While it might not be an “official” diagnosis, that doesn’t mean that a person with codependency can’t get treatment.
Working with a therapist, going to support groups, and reaching out for help if you’re in an unsafe situation are all key parts of coping with codependency.
It can be hard to change your behaviors and learn how to set boundaries, but these are important steps to having healthier relationships.
Histrionic vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Codependency and narcissism are two different conditions. However, people who have narcissistic traits ornarcissistic personality disorder can also have codependency. Likewise, people with codependence may also have narcissistic traits or might be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.
Correction - September 13, 2022: The article was updated to correct the description of the relationship between enabling and codependency, and to clarify the distinction between codependent and interdependent relationships.
How To Recognize Narcissistic Abuse
9 SourcesVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Mental Health America.Co-dependency.The Recovery Village.Codependency.Family First Intervention.Codependency & mental illness: Is there such a thing as a codependent personality disorder?APA Dictionary of Psychology.Enabler.Family First Intervention.How to stop being codependent: Recognizing and healing codependent relationships.Co-Dependents Anonymous.Am I codependent?Co-Dependents Anonymous.Twelve steps.Addiction Rehab Toronto.Codependency: what is codependency and how to stop it?Farmer SA.Entitlement in codependency: developmental and therapeutic considerations.J Addict Dis. 1999;18(3):55-68. doi:10.1300/J069v18n03_06
9 Sources
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Mental Health America.Co-dependency.The Recovery Village.Codependency.Family First Intervention.Codependency & mental illness: Is there such a thing as a codependent personality disorder?APA Dictionary of Psychology.Enabler.Family First Intervention.How to stop being codependent: Recognizing and healing codependent relationships.Co-Dependents Anonymous.Am I codependent?Co-Dependents Anonymous.Twelve steps.Addiction Rehab Toronto.Codependency: what is codependency and how to stop it?Farmer SA.Entitlement in codependency: developmental and therapeutic considerations.J Addict Dis. 1999;18(3):55-68. doi:10.1300/J069v18n03_06
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Mental Health America.Co-dependency.The Recovery Village.Codependency.Family First Intervention.Codependency & mental illness: Is there such a thing as a codependent personality disorder?APA Dictionary of Psychology.Enabler.Family First Intervention.How to stop being codependent: Recognizing and healing codependent relationships.Co-Dependents Anonymous.Am I codependent?Co-Dependents Anonymous.Twelve steps.Addiction Rehab Toronto.Codependency: what is codependency and how to stop it?Farmer SA.Entitlement in codependency: developmental and therapeutic considerations.J Addict Dis. 1999;18(3):55-68. doi:10.1300/J069v18n03_06
Mental Health America.Co-dependency.
The Recovery Village.Codependency.
Family First Intervention.Codependency & mental illness: Is there such a thing as a codependent personality disorder?
APA Dictionary of Psychology.Enabler.
Family First Intervention.How to stop being codependent: Recognizing and healing codependent relationships.
Co-Dependents Anonymous.Am I codependent?
Co-Dependents Anonymous.Twelve steps.
Addiction Rehab Toronto.Codependency: what is codependency and how to stop it?
Farmer SA.Entitlement in codependency: developmental and therapeutic considerations.J Addict Dis. 1999;18(3):55-68. doi:10.1300/J069v18n03_06
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