Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsSymptomsCausesOther StylesHow to CopeHow to Support
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
Symptoms
Causes
Other Styles
How to Cope
How to Support
Someone with an anxious preoccupied attachment style may come off as “needy” or “clingy” and lack healthy self-esteem.
Anxious attachment—which may be called ambivalent attachment in children—usually occurs when there has been an inconsistent relationship with a parent or caregiver during childhood.
Verywell / Ellen Lindner
Anxious attachment is one of four possibleattachment styles, or ways that people relate and interact with others. It is also called anxious preoccupied attachment. Attachment styles develop in childhood and continue into adulthood.
Attachment Style vs. Attachment DisordersAttachment styles should not be confused withattachment disordersas listed in theDiagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. By way of comparison:Attachment disordersare diagnosable disorders in which people have difficulty making emotional or appropriate attachments.Attachment stylesare simply how individuals feel and behave in relationships, which can positively or negatively influence the person’s life.
Attachment Style vs. Attachment Disorders
Attachment styles should not be confused withattachment disordersas listed in theDiagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. By way of comparison:Attachment disordersare diagnosable disorders in which people have difficulty making emotional or appropriate attachments.Attachment stylesare simply how individuals feel and behave in relationships, which can positively or negatively influence the person’s life.
Attachment styles should not be confused withattachment disordersas listed in theDiagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. By way of comparison:
Adults with anxious attachment often need constant reassurance in relationships, which can come off as being “needy,” “clingy,” or “whiny.”
Research has shown that anxious attachment can affect trust in a relationship. People who experience anxious preoccupation attachment are more likely to become jealous, snoop through a partner’s belongings, or even become psychologically abusive when they feel distrust.
Feelings that stem from anxious attachment can be triggered when a person is away from their partner or feels (or fears) that their partner may not love them anymore.
You may have an anxious attachment style if you:
Anxious preoccupation attachment usually refers to romantic relations but may also apply to friendships and other types of relationships.
Can anxious attachment be healed?Anxious attachment is not a disorder unto itself but can be a feature or characteristic of ananxiety disorder.With support and effort, people with this attachment style can learn to develop healthy, secure attachment.
Can anxious attachment be healed?
Anxious attachment is not a disorder unto itself but can be a feature or characteristic of ananxiety disorder.With support and effort, people with this attachment style can learn to develop healthy, secure attachment.
Does My Partner Have Anxious Preoccupied Attachment?
Your partner may be experiencing anxious attachment in your relationship if you notice that they:
CaveatKeep in mind that you cannot diagnose someone with an attachment style. Only a trained therapist can do this. In the end, you cannot know for sure what someone else is thinking or feeling.
Caveat
Keep in mind that you cannot diagnose someone with an attachment style. Only a trained therapist can do this. In the end, you cannot know for sure what someone else is thinking or feeling.
What Causes Anxious Attachment Style?
It’s believed that anxious preoccupation attachment starts when a child experiences inconsistent caregiving in which their needs are met unpredictably.
For example, a parent or caregiver may respond immediately to a child sometimes but not at other times. This inconsistent behavior can sometimes be linked to psychological factors like substance use,depression,stress, anxiety, and fatigue. Children in temporary care (such as those living in foster care) are also exposed to inconsistent caregiving.
Children raised without consistency can view attention as valuable but unreliable. They may have difficulty knowing what to expect from their caregivers and other people. As a result, they may develop anxiety and may perform attention-seeking behaviors, both positive (like pleasing) and negative (like disruptions).
Risk Factors
Although attachment style is not genetic, caregivers with an anxious attachment style may have parenting patterns that contribute to an anxious attachment style in their children.
Some of the things that parents may do that can lead to anxious attachment in their children include:
Children may also be at risk of developing anxious attachment if they experience psychological or physical abuse or if they are separated from their parents or caregivers at a young age.
How Anxious Attachment Compares to Other Styles
A person’s attachment style influences how they feel and behave when they’re in a relationship. Attachment styles can be secure (a person is confident in relationships) or insecure (a person has fear and uncertainty in relationships).
Here is how anxious attachment compares to the other main attachment styles:
One study found that people with anxious attachment reported less positivity and more difficulties in their friendships than those with secure attachment styles.
How to Change Attachment Style
While anxious attachment can be challenging, having a healthy relationship is possible no matter what attachment style you have if you use the right strategies for coping.
Short-term coping strategies include:
You may be able to break anxious attachment with long-term strategies such as:
Therapies for Attachment StylesCognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This fundamental form of therapy focuses on recognizing and changing negative thought patterns.Interpersonal therapy (IPT): This is aimed at improving your interpersonal relationships and social interactions. A 2017 study found IPT particularly beneficial for adolescents with anxious attachment.Psychodynamic psychotherapy: This involves the in-depth exploration of unconscious emotional reactions and how they manifest in relationships.
Therapies for Attachment Styles
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This fundamental form of therapy focuses on recognizing and changing negative thought patterns.Interpersonal therapy (IPT): This is aimed at improving your interpersonal relationships and social interactions. A 2017 study found IPT particularly beneficial for adolescents with anxious attachment.Psychodynamic psychotherapy: This involves the in-depth exploration of unconscious emotional reactions and how they manifest in relationships.
Supporting Loved Ones
Helping Kids with Anxious Attachment
If you have a child with anxious attachment, therapists often recommend:
Supporting a Partner
A 2019 study showed that perceiving gratitude from a romantic partner reduces anxiety for adults with an anxious attachment style.
Summary
Anxious attachment develops in childhood and continues into adulthood. It’s believed that anxious attachment develops when a child gets inconsistent caregiving because their needs are only met some of the time.
An adult with an anxious attachment style may become preoccupied with their relationship to the point of coming off as “clingy” or “needy.” They often worry that their partner will leave or stop loving them. People with anxious attachment may also become manipulative when they feel that a relationship is threatened.
People with anxious attachment can learn coping skills and often do well in relationships with a partner who has a more secure style of attachment.
10 SourcesVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Simpson JA,Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships.Curr Opin Psychol.2017;13:19–24. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006Turner M, Beckwith H, Duschinsky R, et al.Attachment difficulties and disorders.InnovAiT. 2019;12(4):173. doi:10.1177/1755738018823817Sheinbaum T, Kwapil TR, Ballespi S, et al.Attachment style predicts affect, cognitive appraisals, and social functioning in daily life.Front Psychol.2015;6:296. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00296Rodriguez LM, DiBello AM, Øverup CS, et al.The price of distrust: trust, anxious attachment, jealousy, and partner abuse.Partner Abuse. 2015;6(3):298-319. doi:10.1891/1946-6560.6.3.298Read DL, Clark GI, Rock AJ, Coventry WL.Adult attachment and social anxiety: the mediating role of emotion regulation strategies.PLoS One.2018;13(12):e0207514. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0207514Maranges HM, Chen SK, Conway P.Insecure and insensitive: Avoidant and anxious attachment predict less concern for others in sacrificial moral dilemmas.Pers Individ Dif. 2022;185:111274. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2021.111274Miranda M, Molla E, Tadros E.Implications of foster care on attachment: A literature review.Fam J. 2019;27(4):394-403. doi:10.1177/1066480719833407Gunlicks-Stoessel M, Westervelt A, Reigstad K, et al.The role of attachment style in interpersonal psychotherapy for depressed adolescents.Psychother Res. 2019;29(1):78-85. doi:10.1080/10503307.2017.1315465Greater Good Magazine of Berkeley University of California.How to stop attachment insecurity from ruining your love life.Black AE.Treating insecure attachment in group therapy: Attachment theory meets modern psychoanalytic technique.Int J Group Psychother. 2019;69(3):259-286. doi:10.1080/00207284.2019.1588073
10 Sources
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Simpson JA,Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships.Curr Opin Psychol.2017;13:19–24. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006Turner M, Beckwith H, Duschinsky R, et al.Attachment difficulties and disorders.InnovAiT. 2019;12(4):173. doi:10.1177/1755738018823817Sheinbaum T, Kwapil TR, Ballespi S, et al.Attachment style predicts affect, cognitive appraisals, and social functioning in daily life.Front Psychol.2015;6:296. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00296Rodriguez LM, DiBello AM, Øverup CS, et al.The price of distrust: trust, anxious attachment, jealousy, and partner abuse.Partner Abuse. 2015;6(3):298-319. doi:10.1891/1946-6560.6.3.298Read DL, Clark GI, Rock AJ, Coventry WL.Adult attachment and social anxiety: the mediating role of emotion regulation strategies.PLoS One.2018;13(12):e0207514. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0207514Maranges HM, Chen SK, Conway P.Insecure and insensitive: Avoidant and anxious attachment predict less concern for others in sacrificial moral dilemmas.Pers Individ Dif. 2022;185:111274. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2021.111274Miranda M, Molla E, Tadros E.Implications of foster care on attachment: A literature review.Fam J. 2019;27(4):394-403. doi:10.1177/1066480719833407Gunlicks-Stoessel M, Westervelt A, Reigstad K, et al.The role of attachment style in interpersonal psychotherapy for depressed adolescents.Psychother Res. 2019;29(1):78-85. doi:10.1080/10503307.2017.1315465Greater Good Magazine of Berkeley University of California.How to stop attachment insecurity from ruining your love life.Black AE.Treating insecure attachment in group therapy: Attachment theory meets modern psychoanalytic technique.Int J Group Psychother. 2019;69(3):259-286. doi:10.1080/00207284.2019.1588073
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Simpson JA,Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships.Curr Opin Psychol.2017;13:19–24. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006Turner M, Beckwith H, Duschinsky R, et al.Attachment difficulties and disorders.InnovAiT. 2019;12(4):173. doi:10.1177/1755738018823817Sheinbaum T, Kwapil TR, Ballespi S, et al.Attachment style predicts affect, cognitive appraisals, and social functioning in daily life.Front Psychol.2015;6:296. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00296Rodriguez LM, DiBello AM, Øverup CS, et al.The price of distrust: trust, anxious attachment, jealousy, and partner abuse.Partner Abuse. 2015;6(3):298-319. doi:10.1891/1946-6560.6.3.298Read DL, Clark GI, Rock AJ, Coventry WL.Adult attachment and social anxiety: the mediating role of emotion regulation strategies.PLoS One.2018;13(12):e0207514. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0207514Maranges HM, Chen SK, Conway P.Insecure and insensitive: Avoidant and anxious attachment predict less concern for others in sacrificial moral dilemmas.Pers Individ Dif. 2022;185:111274. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2021.111274Miranda M, Molla E, Tadros E.Implications of foster care on attachment: A literature review.Fam J. 2019;27(4):394-403. doi:10.1177/1066480719833407Gunlicks-Stoessel M, Westervelt A, Reigstad K, et al.The role of attachment style in interpersonal psychotherapy for depressed adolescents.Psychother Res. 2019;29(1):78-85. doi:10.1080/10503307.2017.1315465Greater Good Magazine of Berkeley University of California.How to stop attachment insecurity from ruining your love life.Black AE.Treating insecure attachment in group therapy: Attachment theory meets modern psychoanalytic technique.Int J Group Psychother. 2019;69(3):259-286. doi:10.1080/00207284.2019.1588073
Simpson JA,Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships.Curr Opin Psychol.2017;13:19–24. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006
Turner M, Beckwith H, Duschinsky R, et al.Attachment difficulties and disorders.InnovAiT. 2019;12(4):173. doi:10.1177/1755738018823817
Sheinbaum T, Kwapil TR, Ballespi S, et al.Attachment style predicts affect, cognitive appraisals, and social functioning in daily life.Front Psychol.2015;6:296. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00296
Rodriguez LM, DiBello AM, Øverup CS, et al.The price of distrust: trust, anxious attachment, jealousy, and partner abuse.Partner Abuse. 2015;6(3):298-319. doi:10.1891/1946-6560.6.3.298
Read DL, Clark GI, Rock AJ, Coventry WL.Adult attachment and social anxiety: the mediating role of emotion regulation strategies.PLoS One.2018;13(12):e0207514. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0207514
Maranges HM, Chen SK, Conway P.Insecure and insensitive: Avoidant and anxious attachment predict less concern for others in sacrificial moral dilemmas.Pers Individ Dif. 2022;185:111274. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2021.111274
Miranda M, Molla E, Tadros E.Implications of foster care on attachment: A literature review.Fam J. 2019;27(4):394-403. doi:10.1177/1066480719833407
Gunlicks-Stoessel M, Westervelt A, Reigstad K, et al.The role of attachment style in interpersonal psychotherapy for depressed adolescents.Psychother Res. 2019;29(1):78-85. doi:10.1080/10503307.2017.1315465
Greater Good Magazine of Berkeley University of California.How to stop attachment insecurity from ruining your love life.
Black AE.Treating insecure attachment in group therapy: Attachment theory meets modern psychoanalytic technique.Int J Group Psychother. 2019;69(3):259-286. doi:10.1080/00207284.2019.1588073
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