Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsDefinitionRecognizing Covert Narcissist TraitsOvert vs. Covert TraitsCausesCo-Occuring ConditionsIn RelationshipsCoping
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
Definition
Recognizing Covert Narcissist Traits
Overt vs. Covert Traits
Causes
Co-Occuring Conditions
In Relationships
Coping
Covertnarcissisttraits may reflect a different subtype or more subtle presentation ofnarcissistic personality disorder(NPD). The traits remain consistent, though, with the overt grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy in NPD that’s described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition (DSM-5).
Though they are less obvious to spot than classic narcissists, covert narcissists can be frustrating to deal with and cause you to question your own mental health. A covert narcissist may appear to be:
This article discusses covert narcissist traits and how to handle someone who has them. It also explains the difference between covert and overt (apparent or obvious) narcissism and what to do if you suspect you are involved with a covert narcissist.
Verywell / JR Bee
What Is Covert Narcissism?
Covert narcissism is a lesser-known form of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). It is sometimes referred to as quiet narcissism or vulnerable narcissism.
NPD is a condition in which someone harbors an inflated sense of self-importance (grandiose self). Their priorities and the things they say reflect:
Although estimates vary, up to 6.2% of people in community samples demonstrate NPD traits.
People with covert narcissism share many of these traits and, as a result, may have difficulty developing and maintaining relationships. However, instead of arrogance and self-importance, covert narcissists are often shy and withdrawn. They tend to be thin-skinned and hold grudges. They also may appear to focus attention on others when it’s actually attention they seek for themselves.
Their vulnerability as narcissists is reflected in anger and aggression, envy, helplessness, feelings of emptiness, lowself-esteem, and shame. Suicidal thoughts may be part of the pattern.
Covert narcissists may engage inmanipulationand other toxic behaviors to get their way and get the desired feedback to support their self-image, just as overt narcissists do.
What Is Gaslighting?Gaslightingis a covert type of emotional abuse where the abuser misleads their victim, creating a false narrative and making them question their judgments and reality.
What Is Gaslighting?
Gaslightingis a covert type of emotional abuse where the abuser misleads their victim, creating a false narrative and making them question their judgments and reality.
What Does It Mean to Have a Superiority Complex?
There isn’t a clear-cut test for narcissistic personality disorder. Diagnosis of overt NPD is based on evidence of the behaviors and traits of the condition as outlined in the DSM-5.
A covert narcissist will do and say things that demonstrate their sense of superiority, though often through passive-aggressive behaviors. They may speak of being influential, famous, or important, or exaggerate their abilities, talents, and accomplishments. At the same time, they may be feeling just the opposite: inadequate, anxious, depressed, and believing the world owes them something.
In one study, 436 people described experiences in close relationships with narcissists and the kinds of things they say to them, both overt and covert narcissists alike. The remarks included:
Identifying covert narcissism on the basis of similar kinds of statements can be helpful.
What Is Maladaptive Daydreaming and How Can I Stop It?
Overt vs. Covert Narcissist Traits
It can be challenging to identify NPD because people with narcissism don’t typically see their traits as symptoms. People with NPD also may be highly functioning, which may mislead those around them from thinking they have a disorder.
The difference between these two types of narcissism is in the expressions of their underlying feelings. The overt narcissist may be thought of as the extroverted narcissist or the one who outwardly and directly displays narcissistic behaviors, like bullying, demands, and manipulation. The covert is the introverted “closet narcissist” or the shy, hypersensitive, and socially isolated narcissist.
Some narcissists may go back and forth between overt and covert presentations.Keep in mind that no two people with covert narcissism will have the exact same symptoms, either.
Types of Narcissism
Some clinicians divide narcissism into four types:
Exactly what causes NPD is not fully understood. It is likely a combination of factors that influence mental health conditions in general. These include:
Covert narcissist traits may be more common among some personality types. An individual’s innate temperament also may be a factor in their susceptibility to developing narcissism, reflected in their response to triggers like anger or envy over another person’s achievements.
God Complex in Psychology: Traits, Causes, and Effects
Co-Occuring Conditions in Covert Narcissism
Manifestations of covert narcissist traits can overlap with certain other mental health illnesses. Common mental health illness diagnoses that can co-occur with covert narcissism include disorders sometimes called the “cluster B” conditions:
They also can occur alongside:
These co-occurring mental health conditions can make it particularly challenging for clinicians, let alone friends and family, to pinpoint where the problems stem from.
For example, feelings of self-importance and an unrealistic sense of your abilities and capabilities are also signs ofmania in bipolar disorder, although, in mania, these traits tend to be restricted to the manic episode and not more persistent as they are in NPD.
The Link Between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Alcoholism
Covert Narcissism in Relationships
People with covert narcissism can come across as cold, callous, or uncaring. These are three challenging behaviors. Needing constant validation to manage self-esteem can be draining on both people in a relationship.
Relationships, then, may be unstable and unhealthy for people with narcissistic personality disorder and the people in their lives.
For the person with NPD, recognizing there is a problem in themselves is the first step towards recovering. If they have the willingness to change, psychotherapy, including individual, couple, and group therapy can help.
Types of Therapy
The National Domestic Violence Hotline notes that while narcissism is one of the more common terms associated withdomestic violence or abuse, NPD is not a reason or an excuse for abuse.
HelplineIf you or someone you love is a danger to themselves or others, please dial 911. If you fear the other person, you can reach out to theNational Domestic Abuse Hotlineat 800-799-7233, which provides 24/7 access to service providers and shelters across the United States.
Helpline
If you or someone you love is a danger to themselves or others, please dial 911. If you fear the other person, you can reach out to theNational Domestic Abuse Hotlineat 800-799-7233, which provides 24/7 access to service providers and shelters across the United States.
How to Deal With a Covert Narcissist
Dealing with someone with covert narcissist traits or NPD can be challenging. Whether it’s a coworker, friend, spouse,parent, orchild, narcissistic personality disorder may get in the way of having a healthy relationship. These are some ways to help develop a healthier relationship dynamic:
What Are Personality Disorders?
Summary
Covert narcissism is a more subtle type of narcissism. An overt narcissist wears their need for admiration, validation, and sense of self-importance on their sleeve. The expression of these needs and vulnerability in a covert narcissist is more hidden and internal.
Covert narcissists may not be aware of their toxic behaviors or they may not know their behavior is stemming from a personality disorder. This isn’t an excuse for acting in hurtful ways, but it is something to keep in mind when dealing with a narcissist.
Being in a relationship when you have NPD or with someone with NPD can be particularly difficult, but not impossible. If both people want to work on changing, progress is possible. Consider professional counseling or talking to someone for support.
Choosing the Right Psychotherapist
13 SourcesVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Scrandis DA.Narcissistic personality disorder: Challenges and therapeutic alliance in primary care.Nurse Pract. 2020 May;45(5):13-15. doi:10.1097/01.NPR.0000653968.96547.e7.Schalkwijk F, Luyten P, Ingenhoven T, Dekker J.Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Are Psychodynamic Theories and the Alternative DSM-5 Model for Personality Disorders Finally Going to Meet?Front Psychol. 2021 Jul 15;12:676733. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.676733.Sweet PL.The sociology of gaslighting.Am Sociol Rev. 2019;84(5):851-875. doi:10.1177/0003122419874843Stone BM, Bartholomay EM.A two-factor structure of the hypersensitive narcissism scale describes gender-dependent manifestations of covert narcissism.Current Psychology. 2020. doi:10.1007/s12144-020-01088-2Day NJS, Townsend ML, Grenyer BFS.Living with pathological narcissism: a qualitative study.Borderline Personal Disord Emot Dysregul. 2020;7(1):19. doi:10.1186/s40479-020-00132-8Tyrer P.Why we need to take personality disorder out of the doghouse.Br J Psychiatry. 2020 Feb;216(2):65-66. doi: 10.1192/bjp.2019.125.Davies S.The subtle signs of covert narcissism.Shafti S.Malignant narcissism: Concealed side of psychopathy.Biomed J Sci Tech Res. 2019;22(1):16310-16315. doi:10.26717/BJSTR.2019.22.003686Yang Z, Sedikides C, Gu R,et al.Communal narcissism: Social decisions and neurophysiological reactions.Journal of Research in Personality. 2018;76:64–73.Kacel EL, Ennis N, Pereira DB.Narcissistic personality disorder in clinical health psychology practice: case studies of comorbid psychological distress and life-limiting illness.Behav Med. 2017;43(3):156–164. doi:10.1080/08964289.2017.1301875Nagel MG, Marcus DK, Zeigler-Hill V.Bipolar disorders and narcissism: Diagnostic concerns, conceptual commonalities and potential antecedents.Clin Psychol Psychother. 2023 Mar;30(2):235-249. doi:10.1002/cpp.2796.National Domestic Violence Hotline.Narcissism and abuse.Help Guide.Narcissistic personality disorder.
13 Sources
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Scrandis DA.Narcissistic personality disorder: Challenges and therapeutic alliance in primary care.Nurse Pract. 2020 May;45(5):13-15. doi:10.1097/01.NPR.0000653968.96547.e7.Schalkwijk F, Luyten P, Ingenhoven T, Dekker J.Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Are Psychodynamic Theories and the Alternative DSM-5 Model for Personality Disorders Finally Going to Meet?Front Psychol. 2021 Jul 15;12:676733. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.676733.Sweet PL.The sociology of gaslighting.Am Sociol Rev. 2019;84(5):851-875. doi:10.1177/0003122419874843Stone BM, Bartholomay EM.A two-factor structure of the hypersensitive narcissism scale describes gender-dependent manifestations of covert narcissism.Current Psychology. 2020. doi:10.1007/s12144-020-01088-2Day NJS, Townsend ML, Grenyer BFS.Living with pathological narcissism: a qualitative study.Borderline Personal Disord Emot Dysregul. 2020;7(1):19. doi:10.1186/s40479-020-00132-8Tyrer P.Why we need to take personality disorder out of the doghouse.Br J Psychiatry. 2020 Feb;216(2):65-66. doi: 10.1192/bjp.2019.125.Davies S.The subtle signs of covert narcissism.Shafti S.Malignant narcissism: Concealed side of psychopathy.Biomed J Sci Tech Res. 2019;22(1):16310-16315. doi:10.26717/BJSTR.2019.22.003686Yang Z, Sedikides C, Gu R,et al.Communal narcissism: Social decisions and neurophysiological reactions.Journal of Research in Personality. 2018;76:64–73.Kacel EL, Ennis N, Pereira DB.Narcissistic personality disorder in clinical health psychology practice: case studies of comorbid psychological distress and life-limiting illness.Behav Med. 2017;43(3):156–164. doi:10.1080/08964289.2017.1301875Nagel MG, Marcus DK, Zeigler-Hill V.Bipolar disorders and narcissism: Diagnostic concerns, conceptual commonalities and potential antecedents.Clin Psychol Psychother. 2023 Mar;30(2):235-249. doi:10.1002/cpp.2796.National Domestic Violence Hotline.Narcissism and abuse.Help Guide.Narcissistic personality disorder.
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Scrandis DA.Narcissistic personality disorder: Challenges and therapeutic alliance in primary care.Nurse Pract. 2020 May;45(5):13-15. doi:10.1097/01.NPR.0000653968.96547.e7.Schalkwijk F, Luyten P, Ingenhoven T, Dekker J.Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Are Psychodynamic Theories and the Alternative DSM-5 Model for Personality Disorders Finally Going to Meet?Front Psychol. 2021 Jul 15;12:676733. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.676733.Sweet PL.The sociology of gaslighting.Am Sociol Rev. 2019;84(5):851-875. doi:10.1177/0003122419874843Stone BM, Bartholomay EM.A two-factor structure of the hypersensitive narcissism scale describes gender-dependent manifestations of covert narcissism.Current Psychology. 2020. doi:10.1007/s12144-020-01088-2Day NJS, Townsend ML, Grenyer BFS.Living with pathological narcissism: a qualitative study.Borderline Personal Disord Emot Dysregul. 2020;7(1):19. doi:10.1186/s40479-020-00132-8Tyrer P.Why we need to take personality disorder out of the doghouse.Br J Psychiatry. 2020 Feb;216(2):65-66. doi: 10.1192/bjp.2019.125.Davies S.The subtle signs of covert narcissism.Shafti S.Malignant narcissism: Concealed side of psychopathy.Biomed J Sci Tech Res. 2019;22(1):16310-16315. doi:10.26717/BJSTR.2019.22.003686Yang Z, Sedikides C, Gu R,et al.Communal narcissism: Social decisions and neurophysiological reactions.Journal of Research in Personality. 2018;76:64–73.Kacel EL, Ennis N, Pereira DB.Narcissistic personality disorder in clinical health psychology practice: case studies of comorbid psychological distress and life-limiting illness.Behav Med. 2017;43(3):156–164. doi:10.1080/08964289.2017.1301875Nagel MG, Marcus DK, Zeigler-Hill V.Bipolar disorders and narcissism: Diagnostic concerns, conceptual commonalities and potential antecedents.Clin Psychol Psychother. 2023 Mar;30(2):235-249. doi:10.1002/cpp.2796.National Domestic Violence Hotline.Narcissism and abuse.Help Guide.Narcissistic personality disorder.
Scrandis DA.Narcissistic personality disorder: Challenges and therapeutic alliance in primary care.Nurse Pract. 2020 May;45(5):13-15. doi:10.1097/01.NPR.0000653968.96547.e7.
Schalkwijk F, Luyten P, Ingenhoven T, Dekker J.Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Are Psychodynamic Theories and the Alternative DSM-5 Model for Personality Disorders Finally Going to Meet?Front Psychol. 2021 Jul 15;12:676733. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.676733.
Sweet PL.The sociology of gaslighting.Am Sociol Rev. 2019;84(5):851-875. doi:10.1177/0003122419874843
Stone BM, Bartholomay EM.A two-factor structure of the hypersensitive narcissism scale describes gender-dependent manifestations of covert narcissism.Current Psychology. 2020. doi:10.1007/s12144-020-01088-2
Day NJS, Townsend ML, Grenyer BFS.Living with pathological narcissism: a qualitative study.Borderline Personal Disord Emot Dysregul. 2020;7(1):19. doi:10.1186/s40479-020-00132-8
Tyrer P.Why we need to take personality disorder out of the doghouse.Br J Psychiatry. 2020 Feb;216(2):65-66. doi: 10.1192/bjp.2019.125.
Davies S.The subtle signs of covert narcissism.
Shafti S.Malignant narcissism: Concealed side of psychopathy.Biomed J Sci Tech Res. 2019;22(1):16310-16315. doi:10.26717/BJSTR.2019.22.003686
Yang Z, Sedikides C, Gu R,et al.Communal narcissism: Social decisions and neurophysiological reactions.Journal of Research in Personality. 2018;76:64–73.
Kacel EL, Ennis N, Pereira DB.Narcissistic personality disorder in clinical health psychology practice: case studies of comorbid psychological distress and life-limiting illness.Behav Med. 2017;43(3):156–164. doi:10.1080/08964289.2017.1301875
Nagel MG, Marcus DK, Zeigler-Hill V.Bipolar disorders and narcissism: Diagnostic concerns, conceptual commonalities and potential antecedents.Clin Psychol Psychother. 2023 Mar;30(2):235-249. doi:10.1002/cpp.2796.
National Domestic Violence Hotline.Narcissism and abuse.
Help Guide.Narcissistic personality disorder.
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