Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhat to SayWhat to TextWhat Not to SayHow to Offer Support
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
What to Say
What to Text
What Not to Say
How to Offer Support
Thedeath of a childis tragic. If you have never experienced this type of loss, it can be extremely difficult to know what to say.
It is natural for friends of grieving parents to want to help, yet struggle to find the right words. What you say, and what you don’t say, can affect someone in need.
This article will discuss ways to talk to someone who has lost a child. It will also provide suggestions on what to say and what not to say to grieving parents.
How to Write a Meaningful Obituary

What to Say to a Grieving Parent
Parents who have lost a child want to feel supported in theirgrief. They want permission to grieve in their own way.
Grieving parents, at times, need to feel like their child’s short life was impactful. They want to know their child meant something to others who knew and loved them. You can meet these needs in the following ways:
What to Say to Someone Who Lost a Son
If the grieving parent has lost a son, here are some examples of what you can write or say to them:
What to Say to Someone Who Lost a Daughter
For grieving parents who have lost a daughter, consider saying something like:
What to Say to Someone Who Lost a Child Unexpectedly
Losing a child unexpectedly can be incredibly traumatizing. Here are some examples of what to say:
What to Say to Someone Who Lost a Newborn
Losing a newborn child is one of the most heartbreaking experiences one can go through. In this scenario, you might say something like:
What to Say to Someone Who Lost a Child to Substances
When reaching out to someone who lost a child to substances, you don’t need to address the cause of death. Simply express your condolences and offer support in a way that feels fitting. Here are examples:
What Do You Write in a Text to Someone Who Lost a Child?
You may feel more comfortable sending a text to a grieving parent if you are not particularly close with them. Text messages can be simple and short, but they should still be genuine.
It’s best to avoid generic messages like, “I’m sorry for your loss.” Try to personalize the text message with a personal connection to the child, and consider offering practical help where fitting.
Examples of what to write in a text to someone who lost a child include:
What Do You Write in a Sympathy Card?
Sympathy cards can be as long or as short as you would like them to be. In either case, try to keep your message personal. If you don’t have memories of the deceased child, don’t fill the space with impersonal fluff. Simply let the grieving parent know you are thinking of them and share the grief of their loss.
Examples of what to write in a sympathy card include:
What Not to Say to a Grieving Parent
What you don’t say can be just as important as what you do say.
As a general rule, avoid talking about meaning or trying to make things better. Accept the fact that you may feel awkward and helpless. Most mistakes happen because you aren’t prepared and you say things to try and hide or overcome these normal feelings.
Additional Ways to Support a Grieving Parent
Aside from words, grieving parents often need other forms of support that you can provide, such as:
Summary
It can be hard to find the right words to say to someone who has lost a child. The best way to support someone is to offer sincere condolence and open-ended support.
What you don’t say can be just as important as what you do say. Don’t try to make sense of the child’s death or intellectualize it.
No one gets over the death of a child. The best you can do issupport the grievingparent while they adjust to their loss.
How to Write a Condolence Letter
1 SourceVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Gijzen S, L’Hoir MP, Boere-Boonekamp MM, Need A.How do parents experience support after the death of their child?BMC Pediatr. 2016;16:204. doi:10.1186/s12887-016-0749-9
1 Source
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Gijzen S, L’Hoir MP, Boere-Boonekamp MM, Need A.How do parents experience support after the death of their child?BMC Pediatr. 2016;16:204. doi:10.1186/s12887-016-0749-9
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Gijzen S, L’Hoir MP, Boere-Boonekamp MM, Need A.How do parents experience support after the death of their child?BMC Pediatr. 2016;16:204. doi:10.1186/s12887-016-0749-9
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