External condomsandinternal condomsare two of the best ways to make sex safer. Unfortunately, not everyone likes to use these forms of contraception.
Many people assume women are exclusively heterosexual and cisgender. They also assume it is always the partner with a penis who is reluctant touse condoms. But, that’s not necessarily the case. The avoidance of condoms in the United States is almost equal across the gender spectrum.
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This article takes a closer look at why women avoid condoms, mistakes that couples make when using condoms, and ways to overcome these concerns.
Reasons for Not Using Condoms
There are many reasons why some women avoid condoms. Surveys show that the causes can vary based on age, race, and a woman’s relationship status. Other factors include the stigmatization of condom use and misperceptions about a condom’s effectiveness.
Certain attitudes and beliefs affect a woman’s decision to use condoms. In surveys, women who don’t use condoms consistently often report that:
RecapSome women say that they avoid condoms because they don’t believe they are at risk of STIs. Others claim that condoms are uncomfortable, ruin sexual spontaneity, reduce sensitivity, or suggest a person is promiscuous.
Recap
Some women say that they avoid condoms because they don’t believe they are at risk of STIs. Others claim that condoms are uncomfortable, ruin sexual spontaneity, reduce sensitivity, or suggest a person is promiscuous.
If Condoms Cause Pain
Three common reasons why women have bad experiences with condoms are inadequate lubrication, latex allergies, and sensitivity to the spermicidenonoxynol-9. All of these things can lead to vaginal irritation and, in turn, an increased risk ofurinary tract infections,yeast infections, andbacterial vaginosis.
If condoms cause pain or discomfort, there are several things you can do:
It also helps to practice putting on condoms. This not only helps you avoidmistakes that cause condoms to failbut also reduces the clumsiness that can interfere with sexual spontaneity.
RecapTo avoid the vaginal irritation some women experience with condoms, use plenty of lubrication even if a condom is lubricated. If you have a latex allergy, try polyurethane or polyisoprene condoms instead. Also, avoid products containing nonoxynol-9, which can be irritating.
To avoid the vaginal irritation some women experience with condoms, use plenty of lubrication even if a condom is lubricated. If you have a latex allergy, try polyurethane or polyisoprene condoms instead. Also, avoid products containing nonoxynol-9, which can be irritating.
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Summary
Women in the United States avoid condoms almost as much as men and for many of the same reasons. Some report that condoms are uncomfortable, ruin the spontaneity of sex, reduce sensitivity, or imply that you or your partner are unfaithful. Some women also perceive themselves to be at lower risk of STIs than they actually are and regard condoms as unnecessary.
Condoms can cause vaginal discomfort and irritation if used incorrectly or if you are sensitive to latex or certain lubricants. To reduce the risk, avoid products containing nonoxynol-9, which can be irritating. Use plenty of lubrication to reduce friction. And, if you have a latex allergy, choose polyurethane or polyisoprene condoms instead.
A Word From Verywell
By being open and honest, you are more likely to explore new ways to make condoms a positive part of your sexual life.
Frequently Asked Questions
Technically, safer sex involvesbarrier protectionand a reduction in the number of sex partners. In the end, condoms can greatly reduce—but not eliminate—the transmission of STIs from oral, vaginal or anal sex.Learn More8 Simple Ways to Avoid STIs
Technically, safer sex involvesbarrier protectionand a reduction in the number of sex partners. In the end, condoms can greatly reduce—but not eliminate—the transmission of STIs from oral, vaginal or anal sex.
Learn More8 Simple Ways to Avoid STIs
Studies suggest that condoms can reduce the risk of the following STIs if used consistently:Hepatitis B,HIV, andgonorrhea: Over 90%Chlamydia: Between 50% and 90%Genital herpes: Between 10% and 50%Human papillomavirus (HPV): Only nominally effectiveLearn MoreIs Oral Sex Safer Sex?
Studies suggest that condoms can reduce the risk of the following STIs if used consistently:Hepatitis B,HIV, andgonorrhea: Over 90%Chlamydia: Between 50% and 90%Genital herpes: Between 10% and 50%Human papillomavirus (HPV): Only nominally effective
Studies suggest that condoms can reduce the risk of the following STIs if used consistently:
Learn MoreIs Oral Sex Safer Sex?
According to a study from Columbia University, women avoid condoms more out of concern about how their partners might react than issues of discomfort or forgetfulness. Among the cited concerns:Condoms suggest that you don’t trust your partner.Condoms suggest that you’re unfaithful.Condoms might “turn your partner off” or end the relationship.
According to a study from Columbia University, women avoid condoms more out of concern about how their partners might react than issues of discomfort or forgetfulness. Among the cited concerns:
Learn MoreHow Effective Is PrEP in Preventing HIV?
If you have HIV and have anundetectable viral loadwhile onantiretroviral therapy, your risk of transmitting the virus to others is zero.Even so, this doesn’t mean that condoms are no longer needed as you can still get other STIs, especially if you have multiple partners.Learn MoreUndetectable HIV Equals Zero Risk of Transmission
If you have HIV and have anundetectable viral loadwhile onantiretroviral therapy, your risk of transmitting the virus to others is zero.Even so, this doesn’t mean that condoms are no longer needed as you can still get other STIs, especially if you have multiple partners.
Learn MoreUndetectable HIV Equals Zero Risk of Transmission
14 SourcesVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Nasrullah M, Oraka E, Chavez PR. Johnson CH, DiNenno E.Factors associated with condom use among sexually active U.S. adults, national survey of family growth, 2006-2010 and 2011-2013.J Sex Med. 2017 Apr;14(4):541–50. doi:10.1016/j.jsxm.2017.02.015Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Condom use during sexual intercourse among women and men aged 15-44 in the United States: 2011-2015 National Survey of Family Growth.Wegner R, Lewis MA, Davis KC, Neilson EC, Norris J.Tactics young women use to resist condom use when a partner wants to use a condom.The Journal of Sex Research. 2018;55(7):817-823. doi:10.1080/00224499.2017.1376305Cleveland Clinic.Have a latex allergy? Here are 4 safe non-latex condom options.Campbell ANC, Brooks AJ, Pavlicova M, et al.Barriers to condom use: Results of men and women enrolled in HIV risk reduction trials in outpatient drug treatment.J HIV AIDS Soc Serv.2016;15(2):130-46. doi:10.1080/15381501.2016.1166090The Well Project.Talking with your partner about condoms.Konkle-Parker D, Fourquier K, Portz K, et al.Women’s decision-making about self-protection during sexual activity in the deep south of the USA: A grounded theory study.Cult Health Sex. 2018 Jan;20(1):84–98. doi:10.1080/13691058.2017.1331468The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.Vaginitis.Peterman T, Newman D, Maddox L, et al.Risk for HIV following a diagnosis of syphilis, gonorrhea or chlamydia: 328,456 women in Florida, 2000–2011.Int J STD AIDS.2015:26(2):113-9. doi:10.1177/0956462414531243World Health Organization.Use and procurement of additional lubricants for male and female condoms: WHO/UNFPA/FHI360 advisory note.Planned Parenthood.What’s the difference between “safe sex” and “safer sex”?Marfatia YS, Pandya I, Mehta K.Condoms: Past, present, and future.Indian J Sex Transm Dis AIDS.2015;36(2):133-139.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Preventing HIV with PrEP.Rodger A., Cambiano V, Bruun T, et al.Risk of HIV transmission through condomless sex in serodifferent gay couples with the HIV-positive partner taking suppressive antiretroviral therapy (PARTNER): Final results of a multicentre, prospective, observational study.Lancet.2019 May 2; pii: S0140-6736(19)30418-30410. doi:10.1016/S0140-6736(19)30418-0
14 Sources
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Nasrullah M, Oraka E, Chavez PR. Johnson CH, DiNenno E.Factors associated with condom use among sexually active U.S. adults, national survey of family growth, 2006-2010 and 2011-2013.J Sex Med. 2017 Apr;14(4):541–50. doi:10.1016/j.jsxm.2017.02.015Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Condom use during sexual intercourse among women and men aged 15-44 in the United States: 2011-2015 National Survey of Family Growth.Wegner R, Lewis MA, Davis KC, Neilson EC, Norris J.Tactics young women use to resist condom use when a partner wants to use a condom.The Journal of Sex Research. 2018;55(7):817-823. doi:10.1080/00224499.2017.1376305Cleveland Clinic.Have a latex allergy? Here are 4 safe non-latex condom options.Campbell ANC, Brooks AJ, Pavlicova M, et al.Barriers to condom use: Results of men and women enrolled in HIV risk reduction trials in outpatient drug treatment.J HIV AIDS Soc Serv.2016;15(2):130-46. doi:10.1080/15381501.2016.1166090The Well Project.Talking with your partner about condoms.Konkle-Parker D, Fourquier K, Portz K, et al.Women’s decision-making about self-protection during sexual activity in the deep south of the USA: A grounded theory study.Cult Health Sex. 2018 Jan;20(1):84–98. doi:10.1080/13691058.2017.1331468The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.Vaginitis.Peterman T, Newman D, Maddox L, et al.Risk for HIV following a diagnosis of syphilis, gonorrhea or chlamydia: 328,456 women in Florida, 2000–2011.Int J STD AIDS.2015:26(2):113-9. doi:10.1177/0956462414531243World Health Organization.Use and procurement of additional lubricants for male and female condoms: WHO/UNFPA/FHI360 advisory note.Planned Parenthood.What’s the difference between “safe sex” and “safer sex”?Marfatia YS, Pandya I, Mehta K.Condoms: Past, present, and future.Indian J Sex Transm Dis AIDS.2015;36(2):133-139.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Preventing HIV with PrEP.Rodger A., Cambiano V, Bruun T, et al.Risk of HIV transmission through condomless sex in serodifferent gay couples with the HIV-positive partner taking suppressive antiretroviral therapy (PARTNER): Final results of a multicentre, prospective, observational study.Lancet.2019 May 2; pii: S0140-6736(19)30418-30410. doi:10.1016/S0140-6736(19)30418-0
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Nasrullah M, Oraka E, Chavez PR. Johnson CH, DiNenno E.Factors associated with condom use among sexually active U.S. adults, national survey of family growth, 2006-2010 and 2011-2013.J Sex Med. 2017 Apr;14(4):541–50. doi:10.1016/j.jsxm.2017.02.015Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Condom use during sexual intercourse among women and men aged 15-44 in the United States: 2011-2015 National Survey of Family Growth.Wegner R, Lewis MA, Davis KC, Neilson EC, Norris J.Tactics young women use to resist condom use when a partner wants to use a condom.The Journal of Sex Research. 2018;55(7):817-823. doi:10.1080/00224499.2017.1376305Cleveland Clinic.Have a latex allergy? Here are 4 safe non-latex condom options.Campbell ANC, Brooks AJ, Pavlicova M, et al.Barriers to condom use: Results of men and women enrolled in HIV risk reduction trials in outpatient drug treatment.J HIV AIDS Soc Serv.2016;15(2):130-46. doi:10.1080/15381501.2016.1166090The Well Project.Talking with your partner about condoms.Konkle-Parker D, Fourquier K, Portz K, et al.Women’s decision-making about self-protection during sexual activity in the deep south of the USA: A grounded theory study.Cult Health Sex. 2018 Jan;20(1):84–98. doi:10.1080/13691058.2017.1331468The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.Vaginitis.Peterman T, Newman D, Maddox L, et al.Risk for HIV following a diagnosis of syphilis, gonorrhea or chlamydia: 328,456 women in Florida, 2000–2011.Int J STD AIDS.2015:26(2):113-9. doi:10.1177/0956462414531243World Health Organization.Use and procurement of additional lubricants for male and female condoms: WHO/UNFPA/FHI360 advisory note.Planned Parenthood.What’s the difference between “safe sex” and “safer sex”?Marfatia YS, Pandya I, Mehta K.Condoms: Past, present, and future.Indian J Sex Transm Dis AIDS.2015;36(2):133-139.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Preventing HIV with PrEP.Rodger A., Cambiano V, Bruun T, et al.Risk of HIV transmission through condomless sex in serodifferent gay couples with the HIV-positive partner taking suppressive antiretroviral therapy (PARTNER): Final results of a multicentre, prospective, observational study.Lancet.2019 May 2; pii: S0140-6736(19)30418-30410. doi:10.1016/S0140-6736(19)30418-0
Nasrullah M, Oraka E, Chavez PR. Johnson CH, DiNenno E.Factors associated with condom use among sexually active U.S. adults, national survey of family growth, 2006-2010 and 2011-2013.J Sex Med. 2017 Apr;14(4):541–50. doi:10.1016/j.jsxm.2017.02.015
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Condom use during sexual intercourse among women and men aged 15-44 in the United States: 2011-2015 National Survey of Family Growth.
Wegner R, Lewis MA, Davis KC, Neilson EC, Norris J.Tactics young women use to resist condom use when a partner wants to use a condom.The Journal of Sex Research. 2018;55(7):817-823. doi:10.1080/00224499.2017.1376305
Cleveland Clinic.Have a latex allergy? Here are 4 safe non-latex condom options.
Campbell ANC, Brooks AJ, Pavlicova M, et al.Barriers to condom use: Results of men and women enrolled in HIV risk reduction trials in outpatient drug treatment.J HIV AIDS Soc Serv.2016;15(2):130-46. doi:10.1080/15381501.2016.1166090
The Well Project.Talking with your partner about condoms.
Konkle-Parker D, Fourquier K, Portz K, et al.Women’s decision-making about self-protection during sexual activity in the deep south of the USA: A grounded theory study.Cult Health Sex. 2018 Jan;20(1):84–98. doi:10.1080/13691058.2017.1331468
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.Vaginitis.
Peterman T, Newman D, Maddox L, et al.Risk for HIV following a diagnosis of syphilis, gonorrhea or chlamydia: 328,456 women in Florida, 2000–2011.Int J STD AIDS.2015:26(2):113-9. doi:10.1177/0956462414531243
World Health Organization.Use and procurement of additional lubricants for male and female condoms: WHO/UNFPA/FHI360 advisory note.
Planned Parenthood.What’s the difference between “safe sex” and “safer sex”?
Marfatia YS, Pandya I, Mehta K.Condoms: Past, present, and future.Indian J Sex Transm Dis AIDS.2015;36(2):133-139.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Preventing HIV with PrEP.
Rodger A., Cambiano V, Bruun T, et al.Risk of HIV transmission through condomless sex in serodifferent gay couples with the HIV-positive partner taking suppressive antiretroviral therapy (PARTNER): Final results of a multicentre, prospective, observational study.Lancet.2019 May 2; pii: S0140-6736(19)30418-30410. doi:10.1016/S0140-6736(19)30418-0
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