Key TakeawaysWhile a survey found a decline in close friendships among U.S. adults, that decline is the steepest among men.Research has linked loneliness and social isolation to weaker immunity and increased health risks.Experts say cultivating meaningful friendships can help people feel like they belong to a community and promote overall well-being.

Key Takeaways

While a survey found a decline in close friendships among U.S. adults, that decline is the steepest among men.Research has linked loneliness and social isolation to weaker immunity and increased health risks.Experts say cultivating meaningful friendships can help people feel like they belong to a community and promote overall well-being.

Americans are going through a “friendship recession,” but men seem to have a more dramatic decline in friendships than women.

Three decades ago, only 3% of men reported having no close friends. But in 2021, 15% said they have no close friendships at all, a fivefold increase.

Men are often socialized in an environment where stereotypical gender roles portray men as “rugged” individuals who’re “able to withstand pain and suffering,” saidCanh Tran, MSW, LICSW,a licensed clinical social worker and trauma therapist based in Seattle.

Because of societal expectations, they tend to “isolate, internalize, and keep feelings and thoughts to themselves,” he said.

Men are also taught to be self-reliant and not ask for help, Tran added, which can lead to anger, stress, anxiety, and depression.

Study: Even as States Open Up, People Feel Isolated

Why Close Friendships Matter for Health

Loneliness and social isolation are associated with a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke in adults 50 and older.Social deficits are also linked to a higher likelihood of early death.

People who lack social support may have a weakened immune system, making them more susceptible to infections and diseases, according toHarold Hong, MD, a board-certified psychiatrist and medical director of New Waters Recovery in North Carolina. Chronic loneliness, Hong said, can lead to a higher level of cortisol—a stress hormone—which can impair immune function.

A 2015 study found that loneliness can increase gene expressions involved in inflammation while reducing those involved in antiviral responses.

But high-quality friendships can protect against depression and anxiety and contribute to overall well-being, according to a systematic review published inFrontiers in Psychologythis year.

Having strong and meaningful friendships can help people feel like they’re part of a community, an essential for emotional health, Hong added.

“Men, in particular, often rely on their friendships to provide support and encouragement during life’s challenging times,” he said.

Why Having Friends of All Ages Is Good for Your Health

How to Build Quality Friendships

The first step to breaking out of the cycle of friendship recession is to understand that it’s perfectly OK to want friends, Hong said.

For men, it’s easier to connect with others through a shared interest, such as joining clubs, attending events, or taking classes, he added.

But taking these active steps isn’t always easy.

“Start small and do one thing at a time. Don’t try to join lots of groups all at once. Find a good friend and begin cultivating a healthy, open friendship with this person,” Tran said. “Repetition and ongoing practice help build a strong relational muscle toward strong, healthy relationships with yourself and others.”

In developing new relationships, regular interaction, honest communication, and active listening are necessary for the connections to thrive, Hong said. “Men should strive to be open about their emotions and actively listen to others when they speak,” he added.

More Young People Are Using Weed to Cope With Social Isolation and Anxiety

How to Support Others in Your Life

You can also lend an ear to them when they need someone, and ask thoughtful questions about their day-to-day life, he added. This means going beyond the simple “How are you?” and asking in-depth questions about their interests or events in their life.

When someone feels uncomfortable showing their emotions, they might be scared of being perceived as weak. In this case, friends and family can provide a safe space “where honest conversations are encouraged and emotional expression is valued,” Hong said.

What This Means For YouWhether it means getting more involved in your community through volunteer work or signing up for some local classes, making new connections can be invaluable for your health. Similarly, the men in your life can always benefit from safe spaces where they are accepted as they are and encouraged to express their emotions freely. Don’t be afraid to reach out to them for a call or a cup of coffee to catch up. They may need it more than you realize.

What This Means For You

Whether it means getting more involved in your community through volunteer work or signing up for some local classes, making new connections can be invaluable for your health. Similarly, the men in your life can always benefit from safe spaces where they are accepted as they are and encouraged to express their emotions freely. Don’t be afraid to reach out to them for a call or a cup of coffee to catch up. They may need it more than you realize.

Correction - August 21, 2023: A previous version of this article misspelled the first name of Canh Tran. The spelling has been corrected.

5 SourcesVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Survey Center on American Life.Men’s social circles are shrinking.National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine.Social Isolation and Loneliness in Older Adults: Opportunities for the Health Care System.Holt-Lunstad J, Smith TB, Baker M, Harris T, Stephenson D.Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: a meta-analytic review.Perspect Psychol Sci. 2015;10(2):227-237. doi:10.1177/1745691614568352Cole SW, Capitanio JP, Chun K, Arevalo JMG, Ma J, Cacioppo JT.Myeloid differentiation architecture of leukocyte transcriptome dynamics in perceived social isolation.Proc Natl Acad Sci USA. 2015;112(49):15142-15147. doi:10.1073/pnas.1514249112Pezirkianidis C, Galanaki E, Raftopoulou G, Moraitou D, Stalikas A.Adult friendship and wellbeing: A systematic review with practical implications.Front Psychol. 2023;14:1059057. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1059057

5 Sources

Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Survey Center on American Life.Men’s social circles are shrinking.National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine.Social Isolation and Loneliness in Older Adults: Opportunities for the Health Care System.Holt-Lunstad J, Smith TB, Baker M, Harris T, Stephenson D.Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: a meta-analytic review.Perspect Psychol Sci. 2015;10(2):227-237. doi:10.1177/1745691614568352Cole SW, Capitanio JP, Chun K, Arevalo JMG, Ma J, Cacioppo JT.Myeloid differentiation architecture of leukocyte transcriptome dynamics in perceived social isolation.Proc Natl Acad Sci USA. 2015;112(49):15142-15147. doi:10.1073/pnas.1514249112Pezirkianidis C, Galanaki E, Raftopoulou G, Moraitou D, Stalikas A.Adult friendship and wellbeing: A systematic review with practical implications.Front Psychol. 2023;14:1059057. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1059057

Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Survey Center on American Life.Men’s social circles are shrinking.National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine.Social Isolation and Loneliness in Older Adults: Opportunities for the Health Care System.Holt-Lunstad J, Smith TB, Baker M, Harris T, Stephenson D.Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: a meta-analytic review.Perspect Psychol Sci. 2015;10(2):227-237. doi:10.1177/1745691614568352Cole SW, Capitanio JP, Chun K, Arevalo JMG, Ma J, Cacioppo JT.Myeloid differentiation architecture of leukocyte transcriptome dynamics in perceived social isolation.Proc Natl Acad Sci USA. 2015;112(49):15142-15147. doi:10.1073/pnas.1514249112Pezirkianidis C, Galanaki E, Raftopoulou G, Moraitou D, Stalikas A.Adult friendship and wellbeing: A systematic review with practical implications.Front Psychol. 2023;14:1059057. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1059057

Survey Center on American Life.Men’s social circles are shrinking.

National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine.Social Isolation and Loneliness in Older Adults: Opportunities for the Health Care System.

Holt-Lunstad J, Smith TB, Baker M, Harris T, Stephenson D.Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: a meta-analytic review.Perspect Psychol Sci. 2015;10(2):227-237. doi:10.1177/1745691614568352

Cole SW, Capitanio JP, Chun K, Arevalo JMG, Ma J, Cacioppo JT.Myeloid differentiation architecture of leukocyte transcriptome dynamics in perceived social isolation.Proc Natl Acad Sci USA. 2015;112(49):15142-15147. doi:10.1073/pnas.1514249112

Pezirkianidis C, Galanaki E, Raftopoulou G, Moraitou D, Stalikas A.Adult friendship and wellbeing: A systematic review with practical implications.Front Psychol. 2023;14:1059057. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1059057

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